Family Forum

Thanksgiving Reflection

2008-11-28T15:05:00.000-08:00

This week during our family time we devoted our time expressing what things we are thankful for. I reminded the children (along with Julien our exchange student) that a thankful heart is indicative of one who understands, knows, and believes what Jesus Christ did for us when He died on the cross for our sins. I reminded them that it is God’s will for His children to be thankful (1 Thess 5:18).

So we took the time to reflect on what things we’ve been thankful for over the past few months. Last night it was exciting to listen to the kids express what things they were thankful for. In the past it’s often been things like “our home” or “family” or “a good church” and so forth. And we rejoice with them when they express thanksgiving for such things. We remind them that “every good gift” is from the Lord. Over the past several months our time, energy, resources and finances have been focused on bringing home our children from the Philippines. At times our faith is strong and at other times our faith is weak. Certain moments we clearly see the hand of God behind the process we are going through, and at other times God seems to be inactive. But as I listened to each one of my children express their thankfulness, I couldn’t keep my eyes from welling up with tears because their comments reminded me of how good God has been during this process. It reminded me that they are watching their mom and dad attempt to put their faith in action. It reminded me that as LaNae and I make every effort to act out our faith, it gives them that much more motivation to act out their faith. Each of our kids, in their own way, expressed how thankful they were to see how God is growing our faith as we watch Him work through this adoption process. Claire expressed thankfulness in the Lord’s provision financially. Cade expressed thankfulness in how God is growing his affections for his sisters even though they are in Philippines at the moment. Kailyn expressed thankfulness for how God must be pleased to watch His church respond to the needs of His people.

A lot of the things that we are waiting for during this adoption process are outside of “our control.” This only elevates our need to be dependent on Him throughout the whole process. It’s been hard for them at times to watch mommy and daddy wrestle with what God is doing, but it’s been a joy for them when they see the Lord answer in real specific ways. These times of trusting and waiting have been a valuable lesson for them (and us as well) to learn. They (we) have seen God work in so many different ways. They have seen faith acted out even though it seems foolish in the eyes of many.

As I think about what the Lord is taking us through during this time, I don’t always see the good in it. I often need to be reminded that God is always honored when we seek to step out in faith. And when I listen to my children express their complete faith and trust in the Lord, I’m reminded that their view of God is affected by my view of God. If I believe my God is small they will view God as small. When I view my God as one who is able to do above and beyond what I can think or imagine, they will view God the same way. It gives them a view of how big our God is. It gives them a perspective that our God is bigger than our pocket book. He’s bigger than our savings account. He’s bigger than our ability to plan. In fact often he disrupts our plans to show us and remind us just how big he is.

I have much to be thankful for, and I am thankful to the Lord that he used the faith of my children to show me where mine was lacking.

Walking by Faith, Part 6 - Faith and the Sovereignty of God

2008-11-26T11:01:00.000-08:00

This week as I’ve been reading through the familiar story of Joseph in Genesis 37 and following, I was struck more strongly than ever before in my previous readings of this story regarding the sovereignty of God. I think my understanding of the doctrine of God’s sovereignty can be at times so intellectual that I forget what it looks like in every day life. I can quote passages such as Psalm 115:3 or Daniel 4:35 and a host of other verses that describe the sovereignty of God and yet it remains as an intellectual understanding. When it comes to “big” things that are obviously out of “my control,” I can attribute it to the sovereignty of God. Things that happen to me “passively” are easier to accept under the sovereign hand of God.

Recently, we’ve been trying to get all immigration paper work taken care of on our end so that we can begin the process of moving forward with the adoption of the twin girls from the Philippines. The fingerprinting department in the federal building is having a difficult time getting fingerprints from LaNae. We don’t know why. I don't have control over LaNae’s fingerprints. Therefore, I can give this issue over to the Lord and trust him. I just received a phone call from the auto service department and we have a large repair bill on our car. These things have to get done, and again I can give this over to the Lord and trust him, that this is all under his sovereign control.

But what about the day to day things? Yesterday I came home and our garage door wasn’t working properly. The kids came out to meet me in the garage after I opened it with the garage door opener. It opened OK, but when I closed it I heard a bang that sound like someone threw a fast pitched baseball against our garage. The kids told me that “mommy ran into the garage,” and that’s why it wasn’t working right. As I think back over my response now, and in my heart there was anger and bitterness, “Why couldn’t she just look over her shoulder to see if the door was completely open?” I thought to myself. At that moment, why did I not stop and give thanks to the Lord for this opportunity to trust in his sovereign hand? Because, I still love to be “in control.” Deep down inside I feel like I can control every situation and if we just do the right things everything will turn out “right” and we won’t have any problems.

The story of Joseph supports the theological truth that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love him and are called according to His purpose. This includes those things we view as “small” things and the “big” things. The doctrine of God’s sovereignty must move from an intellectual understanding towards a practical reality for every believer in the Lord. I’m thankful – now - for the events that unfolded yesterday with the garage because it showed me the issue of “control” that still needs to be purged out of my heart. It taught me that a life of faith believes in the sovereignty of God both in the “small” and “big” things of life.

Walking by Faith, Part 5 – From Genesis 32-33

2008-11-15T17:07:00.001-08:00

Walking by faith and self-sufficiency are contradicting terms. When God calls us to walk by faith it is not an immediate or natural act that takes place in the believer. Most often He has to chisel away at these things we take comfort in. When Jacob was faced with the reality of meeting Esau, he was faced with the reality of meeting Esau he was overcome by fear; and rightly so. He had deceived him and stolen the blessing from him. So it would have been “right” (worldly speaking) for Esau to take vengeance on Jacob. This is what Jacob feared, but this is also what demonstrated to him that he needed to recall the faithfulness of God. He had received report that Esau was 400 men strong. This would not go over well for Jacob if he found himself in a military war with Esau. His pleading with the LORD is a good example of what we are to do in the midst of fear. How often this act becomes our final act; what we often do first is gather information. We try to weigh out all the pros and cons. This is all good and some would call it wisdom – and it is. Sometimes, however, we try to make sure all of our “ducks are in a row.” That’s what Jacob was doing. But finally he knew there was nothing he could do. At this point God was still pealing back his self-sufficiency; helping him see how much he needs the Lord in all his decisions.

This is an important for us to remember. We can make every effort to put just the right pieces together. We can attempt to make it look like we have everything lined up, but in the end, God wants us to be solely dependent upon Him. In times of great fear believers should recall the promises of God, because in order to become a man or woman of faith, God must first purge from our hearts the propensity to be self-sufficient.

Walking by Faith, Part 4

2008-11-08T20:21:00.000-08:00

In Genesis chapter 31, it was clear that Jacob had learned what he needed to learn in the 20 years of oppression under Laban. God used those years to convince him that his God is faithful to His promises. For the nation of Israel, they would have seen the faithfulness of God despite their 400 years of bondage to Egyptian rule. It would be tempting to forget all about the patriarchs and what God promised through them, as they undergo difficulties upon entering the Promised Land. God’s blessings were an indication that He was with them. In the same way God’s blessings is an indication that He is with us and will never leave us nor forsake us. For the believer, those blessings primarily are “every spiritual blessings in the heavenly realms” mentioned in Ephesians chapter one.

Spiritual blessings are longer lasting than material blessing. Therefore every believer must realize that their spiritual blessings far outweigh any material blessings they might gain. Should we then all the more be faithfully obedient to the call of God in our lives? Should we then not all the more trust in God’s provision and protection? When Jesus said “follow me” he was saying follow my way of life “go outside the camp and bear the reproach I will bear.” Because there is blessing their far beyond you can imagine.

God’s message to Jacob was to “leave Laban, but be ready because their will be tension with Laban and then you will experience tension with Esau, but I am with you and will protect you.”

It’s easy to forget that as believers, regardless of our material status, that we are blessed far beyond we can imagine. We get excited about bread crumbs when there is an entire bakery that awaits us in heaven. It’s sad isn’t it? But this is where our hearts must desperately change. We must pray for the Lord to cause our hearts to grow more content with who we are and what we have in Christ. We must pray that the Lord would guard our hearts from being satisfied with material possessions and that we would continue moving “outside the camp” – bearing the reproach of Christ. We must pray that we do not become too comfortable with American Christianity.

Our prayer must be, “Lord, what else can I give up. I know I hold on to my possessions so tightly, but there is so much more to let go. Help me to obey your call to follow you.”

Walking by Faith, Part 3

2008-11-03T06:03:00.000-08:00

In Genesis 26:1-11, we learn that when God kept Isaac from leaving the land promised to Abraham, God reiterated the promise with him but then had to protect Rebekah from Abimelech when Isaac lied about her. Isaac received the great promises and the instruction for obedience, just as Abraham. However, because of fear he used deception towards the men of Gerar, thus making a mockery of his faith.

The maneuver done in this story by Isaac is quite shocking considering he just saw an appearance of the Lord. He received revelation that God was with him and that the promise to Abraham would be passed on to him because of Abraham’s obedience. But soon after the reiteration of the promise his faith began to wane. He looked at his situation in Gerar and then he was moved with fear. Why…because Abimelech was stronger and more powerful than he. He took the road of deception as his way of fleeing this fearful situation. He followed the example of Abraham. In fact, he made a mockery of the promises just reminded to him by God.

As I think about this story I can recall the many ways I make or have made a mockery of God’s promises. Every time I fail to follow what His word says, I make a mockery of Him because I’m saying that what his word says has no purpose in my life. By not following the commands of scripture, I am saying I don’t believe obedience to God will please Him and bring unforeseen blessing in my life. Faith boldly faces danger, but fear makes a mockery of faith. When I falter in my faith, I’m reminded that God will carry out His promises not because of my obedience or lack of it, but because of one man’s obedience (Jesus, cf. Romans 5:19). This should motivate me all the more to walk by faith and not by fear. Paul’s words in Phil 4:6 should be my response should when I’m afraid.

Let us walk in obedience because of the one who walked fully obedient. Let us not forget that in not sparing His Son – He will not spare any good thing from us that will only bolster our faith all the more.

Walking by Faith, Part 2

2008-10-30T07:45:00.000-07:00

Genesis 22:11 says, “But the angel of the LORD called to him from heaven and said, ‘Abraham, Abraham!’ And he said, ‘Here am I.’ 12) He said, ‘Do not lay your hand on the boy or do anything to him, for now I know that you fear God, seeing you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me.’ 13) And Abraham lifted up his eyes looked, and behold, behind him was a ram, caught in a thicket by his horns. And Abraham went and took the ram and offered it up as a burnt offering instead of his son. 14) So Abraham called the name of that place, ‘The LORD will provide’…”

Do I hold on to the child or do I hold on to the character of God? Do I obey God or do I obey my own desires? These were the questions Abraham was faced with. To what extent would he obey what the Lord was calling him to do? The passage is about a test, but not the kind of test that we frequently find in Scripture that introduces some type of adversity so that the believer is then called to respond in faith. This story calls the people of Israel to follow God at a whole new level. Egypt was comfortable. Even though they were in bondage under the Egyptians, at least they knew they would have food, shelter, and clothing. The Lord called them to leave the comforts of Egypt and go into a land that is unfamiliar and hostile to God. From a human perspective, it was a foolish thing for them to leave Egypt, travel through the wilderness, and go to unfamiliar land. But to what extent would the people of God obey? The story of Abraham would remind them not of Abraham’s faith, but more so of the Lord’s hand to provide. This would be an encouragement for the people of Israel to see their “father” exercise such faith. They were being called upon as a nation to exercise the same kind of faith as they wait to enter the Promised Land. Yes, throughout the story of Abraham, they watched a man who at times walked by faith and at other times walked by fear. When he trusted that God would provided he walked by faith, but when he was overcome by his fear he began to walk by sight (i.e. Genesis 16 and 20). The story of Genesis 22 is the climax of Abraham’s story (which began in Genesis 12, when God called him out of the comforts of Ur) when he finally resolved completely in his heart and mind that the LORD is a God who provides. Regardless of what situation he finds himself in, regardless of what God is calling him to do he believed that the LORD would provide. The reason for this is explained to us by the author of Hebrews, “By faith he went to live in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, living in tents with Isaac and Jacob, heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God…By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises was in the act of offering up his only son, of whom it was said, ‘Through Isaac shall your offspring be named.’ He considered that God was able even to raise him from the dead, from which, figuratively speaking, he did receive him back…’” (Hebrews 11:9ff)

God calls his people, back then and even to this day, to obey him in ways that may seem foolish or baffling to you and to the rest of the world. We are called to make choices that to the world would seem inexplicable but to those walking closely with God seem right. God calls us to obey things that seem foolish to the world, but in the end He receives the glory in our steps of obedience. God is the giver of all good things. “Do I hold on to the child or hold on to the character of God? Do I obey God or do I obey my own desires?” God has to peal back each finger over the things of this world we hold onto so tightly. If anyone is inclined to be a true worshipper of the Lord, it will involve the willingness to sacrifice whatever is dearest and most treasured even if such sacrifice should be considered a gift from God (Luke 14:26-27).

Abraham is considered one of the many witnesses of Hebrews 11 that we are surrounded by. This is why the author of Hebrews then exhorts his readers to, “…lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely (sin that keeps us from living by faith), and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God” (Heb 12:1-2). The cross looked like failure. It looked like foolishness and absurdity on the part of God to crush His own Son. But in actuality it displayed the fullness of God’s wisdom and power. It displayed the fullness of God’s glory. This is why Jesus was able to endure the cross with joy.

LaNae and I have felt over the last year to act upon what we believe the Lord is calling us to do, namely, international adoption. This is crazy in and of itself because of the cost of international adoption. Our faith was put to the test when we found out about twin 2 year old deaf girls from the Philippines in need of a home. First of all, to adopt one child is extremely expensive, let alone two. And we just do not have the cash flow to fund such a venture with our own resources. Secondly, the amount of work involved in adopting deaf children would seem overwhelming. This would require the whole family to learn sign language. This would require teaching the girls sign lanague once they are part of our family. Third, our kids right now are at a good age. They are manageable and are pretty capable of doing things on their own. We would have to start the whole process of parenting 2 year olds again. Sounds bizarre...yes, it does. But as we evaluated our family life, God has equipped us as a family to take on this challenge. What an opportunity to bring two children into our home who would not have the opportunity to hear the gospel audibly, yet hear it through sign language. What an opportunity to walk by faith. What an opportunity to see God glorified in our steps of obedience. It became clear to us that this was the road the Lord had for us; that our pursuit of adoption was bigger than our desire to make our family balanced (2 girls and 2 boys), it was about God's plan to expand His Kingdom. It seems “inexplicable”, but as I’ve learned from Genesis 22, “God calls his people to obey him in ways that seem inexplicable.”

Walking by Faith, Part I

2008-10-28T21:35:00.000-07:00

Beginning in September we began our unified study here at Faith Bible Church (Spokane, WA) through the book of Genesis. This is the third time we are going through the book of Genesis as a church. One of the themes that has captivated me this time around through this book is the topic of “walking by faith”. I don’t completely understand what it means to walk by faith, but the more I study God’s work in and through the life of Abraham, I see snippets of what it means to live a life of faith.

In Genesis 21:1-7, Isaac is born to Abraham and Sarah, thus, fulfilling the promise made to them in Genesis 17 and 18. Ishamael, at this time, was a young boy who was able to articulate “mocking” words towards Isaac. By this time Abraham and Sarah are well advanced in years, but God remained faithful to His promise to bring forth Isaac despite their age. When Sarah saw God’s faithfulness displayed she responded with joyful laughter over the kindness of God to provide a child for her. Moses lines this story up next to the story of Ishmael. Ishmael would be a constant reminder for Abraham and Sarah when they responded to their aging situation with fear (Genesis 16). Ishmael would not be the child of the promise. These two stories would be significant for the people of Israel who were preparing to enter the Promised Land after being in bondage for over 400 years. Its purpose was not to instill national pride (“we are the people of God”), but rather it should have provoked a heart of holiness, humility, gratitude, and obedience; a greater desire to remove anything from our life that would pose a threat to any future blessing. Living by fear keeps us from trusting in the promises of God. When we walk by fear we end up walking according to the deeds of the flesh (anger, rage malice, impurity, lust, greed and evil desires – Colossians 3). But when we set our minds on things above we begin to walk by faith because our hope looks beyond what is seen to that which is unseen.

I'm Back....

2008-10-28T14:19:00.000-07:00

Many of you have either approached me personally or sent e-mail why I haven’t posted a blog entry for over 2 months now. One reason has to do with the busy ministry months of July and August. I questioned whether it was right for me to use my time posting blogs. I have 24 hours in a day (minus 5-8 for sleep) and because it takes quite a bit of thought for me to write, I didn’t think it was the best use of my time. A second reason has to do with whether or not this is an effective way to challenge, encourage, exhort, confront, etc… others in their walk with the Lord. A third reason has to do with the many blogs already out in the blogosphere related to spiritual things, the Bible, family life, parenting, theology, the gospel, etc… I didn’t think another one was needed. In fact I have a difficult time already finding time to read blogs that are challenging and thought provoking. But after the encouragement I received from many of you to keep blogging, I’ve resolved that this is a wise use of my time, and if what I post is helpful for one or two people, then its purpose is accomplished. So for the one or two of you that read this blog, stay posted for future entries.

"Did you do your best?"

2008-08-12T08:39:00.000-07:00

What does it mean for someone to do their best?

A couple of weeks ago I had a conversation with my children about doing their best. I had noticed that during the course of a couple of weeks their were tasks which I had assigned to different individuals that were being left partially done or less than partially done. This particular conversation came about as one of my children was asked to sweep the kitchen floor after a meal. I noticed that after the job was done there were a few chunks of crumbs left on the floor. So I summoned this individual and asked if the floor was swept, to which this person replied, “yes, I did my best.” The thought came through my mind, “did this person do their best or did this person perform what I expected him or her to do.” From my observation, it appeared that this person performed at his or her own expectation. I think, as parents (or leaders), we have a tendency to lower the standard for our children when we expect them to perform at the level of “their best” rather than shooting for a standard of excellence or a standard which we set out for them.

In 1 Thessalonians 4:1, the apostle Paul exhorts the Thessalonian church in the following way, “Finally, then brothers we ask and urge you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us how you ought to live and to please God, just as you are doing, that you do so more and more…” Paul understood grace and yet also knew that as believer’s we are called to a standard of living according to God’s standard, namely, holy living (1 Peter 1:15-16) and not our own. He would not ask the churches if they did their best. His question for the churches was always summed up in this way, “are you living according to the calling of which you’ve been called” (cf Eph 1:4; 4:1).

This is something as parents we must consider when we think about training our children. We don’t want to cross the line of exasperating them by expecting them to do something that they are physically, emotionally, or spiritually incapable of doing. But we should at least expect them to rise up to a level that is beyond their own expectation. They should be challenged to always pursue excellence in whatever they are asked to do. The natural tendency of every person is to live at a level of mediocrity. This is a consequence of our fallen condition. Therefore we should not only fight for pursuing excellence in all that we do; we should also be constantly guiding our family to go beyond what they think they are capable of doing.

Exchange Students and the Gospel

2008-08-04T21:25:00.000-07:00

It’s been a week since our exchange student arrived from Germany. It has been quite a busy week with making adjustments to our schedule, but it has been well worth it. LaNae and I are learning a lot about the life of a teenager. He wakes up with nothing to say, but when it’s time to turn in for the night at around 9:30 pm, he is ready to talk about his day for the next hour or so. Needless to say we have had a few late nights getting to know this young man. Last night I had my first spiritual conversation with Julien, particularly as it related to Sunday mornings message from our pastor on the topic of “religion as the cause of problems around the world”. He agrees to an extent with this argument, but at the same time I asked him if he thought we were religious people. To which he replied, “yes”. Then I followed up with, “do you think we’re causing problems in the world?” He paused for a moment, then smiled and I think realized that the argument is a general statement that has no validity.

I decided that while he was here with us for the month of August (however we are praying about keeping him for the entire school year) we would go through the gospel of Mark for our family devotions. This was to give him a glimpse into the life and person of Jesus Christ. He actually looks forward to our Bible times in the evening. This evening we read Mark chapter 2 focusing on the story of the paralytic and the calling of Levi. The main point of our Bible time was that Jesus loves sinners and he wants to forgive them. He demonstrated both these truths in these stories. This theme forced me to answer the question of “who is a sinner” and “how does a sinner attain forgiveness?” It’s exciting because Julien has very little Bible background. In fact the only Bible story he is familiar with is David and Goliath. It seems like he’s open to having conversations about the Bible.

Please pray as we continue to show him the love of Christ both in the Scriptures and also through our lives.

The Immeasurable Riches of God's Grace

2008-08-02T16:43:00.000-07:00

Early in the summer, I decided to give as a gift to the teachers in the Family and Children’s department the book The Cross Centered Life by C.J. Mahaney. Although the truths that Mahaney seeks to convey in this book are “basic” and fundamental to the Christian faith, he makes the application of these truths profound. His constant exhortation to remind his readers to think deeply of the gospel and to think daily of the gospel is critical in the process of sanctification. We can never exhaust our meditation on the gospel because for all eternity we will forever be reminded of the Lamb who was slain for our sins.

This morning as I was meditating through Ephesians chapter 2, I came across this verse: “…so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus…” This verse (Eph 2:7) struck me. Life has its many ups and downs. Our thoughts can be consumed by those things that affect our lives, whether prosperity or poverty, whether good or bad, or whether pain or pleasure. Pastoral ministry has its many highs and lows, and my mind can be consumed by either one. Part of the reason is because I love and care for the church so much. And when there are issues that I need to deal with related to the church, my mind gravitates towards wanting to fix it or develop a plan to make it right. But I am so thankful for passages like Ephesians chapter 2 where I am reminded that in God’s mercy and grace he chose to make me alive in Christ when I was once dead in my transgressions. I once lived my life according to the course of this world, but in God’s kindness he saved me by His grace. It is always refreshing and renewing to meditate on God’s saving work. Sometimes it’s hard to practically live it out in every day life. But this morning as I ran across verse 7, I was reminded that not only did God show his grace towards us in saving us. He will continue to unfold more of his grace towards us in the coming ages. Every unfolding of God’s grace will be refreshment to our soul in this life and in the life to come. We will never get tired of seeing God’s immeasurable grace unfold before our eyes. This is why we need to daily pray for God to show us not only evidence of grace in our own life, but also in the lives of others.

Can you identify glimpses of God’s grace in your children; maybe in the way they interact with their brothers and sisters or perhaps in how much more quickly they respond to your guidance and wisdom? Do you see glimpses of God’s work in your spouses’ life in the way they desire more and more each day to carry out the role of husband, wife, father or mother according the principles laid out in Scripture? If this is what we have to look forward to for all eternity, namely, the disclosing of God’s infinite grace, we must make it a pattern in our life to daily look for evidence of grace not only in our own life but also in the lives of others. When our first response is to identify evidence of grace in the life of others it will become easier for them to become our objects of joy because of God’s saving work in their life rather than burdens to bear.

The Need for Fresh Insights

2008-07-17T08:52:00.001-07:00

One of my goals this summer was to do a devotional reading through the gospel of John. This week I finished my read through this gospel and I was struck by an event that took place in chapter 20 verses 1 to 18. The scene takes place after the resurrection of Jesus. Mary Magdalene goes to the tomb where Jesus’ body was laid, and she notices that the stone had been rolled away. She then runs to tell Peter and the other disciples, to which Peter and John ran to the tomb to find out for themselves. Sure enough they saw with their own eyes that the body of Jesus was gone. They walked away from there; it would seem, with their heads down and without hope. The next scene shows that Mary stood outside the tomb weeping. While she was weeping she was approached by Jesus who asked why she was weeping. At this point she was unaware that he was her Lord. But when she realized that she was staring her Lord in the face she calls him “teacher”. Jesus then gives her instructions. He tells her to go to the disciples. She was to tell them these words (v. 17), “I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.”

Why was this, the message he wanted to send to his disciples? Why didn’t he simply say, “Tell the disciples you saw me, and tell them to get back over here.” Apparently, this was a phrase or a saying that he had said to them before. Therefore, when they heard these words it would have clicked in their minds that this message was from Jesus. They most likely would have thought, “Wait a minute she wasn’t there when he taught us this, and now she’s quoting him.” They would have then believed what she was saying because she was quoting something they had heard Jesus spoke before.

Sometimes God’s word must be spoken to us in fresh ways so that we are shaken up to say, “O, yeah…that’s what the Bible says.” It’s easy to get in a rut and just read the Bible without moving us towards greater belief in the Lord. When the Bible is read it should produce greater faith and confidence in the Lord.

I trust that in your reading through the Bible (particularly during the summer) you are reading it with fresh eyes and ears. Don’t look at the word of God as just another book. Read it intently. Listen to sermons preached with fresh ears every time. Allow it to produce in you a greater love for the Savior, and may it cause you to resolve ever more to walk in the ways of the Lord.

I love this quote from Maurice Roberts' The Thought of God. It encapsulates that thought I'm attempting to capture here.

If our hearts remains cold after all we can do to conjure up in our minds the wonders of Christ's love towards us, we must be ruthless with our affections and constrain our slow hearts to measure our debt of thankfulness to Jesus by a consideration of the gulf between our blessings and our deservings. Let us recall with deepest mortification that if Christ is my life, I was his death. If he is my righteousness, I was his damnation. As he is all my blessing, I was once his curse, this scourge, his "hell". O what a contradiction of God I was when Christ found me and renewed the divine image upon my soul! O at what a distance from God I was when Jesus breathed life into me and bade me live in the near presence of his Father!

"One sows and another reaps..." Part II

2008-07-14T22:16:00.001-07:00

It is Monday afternoon and I am recovering physically after a 4 day long outreach camp at Tshimakain Creek camp just outside of Spokane, WA. My body is physically worn out, but my soul is spiritually full after laboring for the sake of the gospel to 47 children between the ages of 8-11 years old. These kids were from various walks of life; many of them from extremely difficult home situations and from low income neighborhoods. Church life for these kids is a foreign concept. In fact most of them didn’t even know there was such a thing as an Old and New Testament in the Bible. This is indicative of a culture that is becoming more and more godless with each successive generation. This was all the more reason I believe it was right for us (FBC) to partner with Union Gospel Mission of Spokane in an effort to reach the younger generation with the gospel. Perhaps the Lord will show his kindness towards many of these young ones and bring them to saving faith. I took a staff of 27 adult and high school students ranging from ages 14 to 51 with me. What an incredible team. A team that worked together so well, one would think that we had known each other longer than the 4 days we were at camp.

It’s hard to believe that the week of ministry to these young people is over. Who knows if we will ever make contact with these kids again? I am in the middle of strategizing with the Tshimakain Outreach Team ways in which we can incorporate many of these kids into the body of Christ here at FBC. It will be a difficult task because many of their parents may not want to have anything to do with church. My encouragement to the team members is to pursue these kids, regardless, through letters or phone calls, but that they should try to make contact with the parents as much as possible. A parent whose child is loved by another will find it hard to resist that person. It will be a challenge for the team to follow up because for many of them this is new approach to gospel ministry, but each team member is up for the challenge of a possible negative response. They realize that part of the consequence of extending the gospel in word and deed is at times rejection.

If we never see these kids again, I can say with a clear conscience that we as a team sowed the seeds of the gospel. The theme for the camp was “King of the Jungle”. There were six messages presented during the 4 days at camp. Each message was preceded by a skit with three characters in search of this “king of the jungle”. The king of the jungle of course was King Jesus and throughout their journey in search of this King they would be led to some so-called kings. On one journey they were led to the Lion King. On another journey they were taken to King Kong, and yet on another journey they were taken to King Tut. All did not fit the characteristics of the one true King they were looking for. The King they were in search of had the attributes of Power, Justice, Promise, Humble, Love and Glory. We used these six characteristics of King Jesus to present the gospel. After 20-25 minute messages each cabin leader took their kids through a series of questions and reiterated the contents of the message and took the opportunity to present the gospel in word. By the end of the week, one cabin leaders can say with confidence that one of the little girls in her cabin made a commitment to follow Christ. Many of the kids listened intently, they seemed to get the contents of the gospel, but were not vocal about any commitments to follow Christ if they did.

However, what will be imbedded in the minds of many of these children is the kindness and love that was extended to them towards by the staff. Every one from the work crew to the cabin counselors went out of their way to show the gospel to these kids with their actions. They were sacrificial in their actions. They took the time to do things the kids wanted to do. They did not have one break away from these kids at any time during the camp. It was indeed a labor of love and work produced by their faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. I can say they were moved by the love of the staff because many of these young ones were in tears when they came off the bus and had to say good-bye to their cabin leaders.

Time will tell whether the seeds of the gospel landed on good soil; we can only pray. We sowed; perhaps another will one day reap a harvest.

"One sows and another reaps..."

2008-06-23T14:46:00.001-07:00

One Sunday, I was talking with one of the Sunday school teacher from our church and I asked him how his class was this morning. He was encouraged to be able to teach the children the word of God, but I could tell that he was burdened by something. I waited a few moments thinking that perhaps he might share what was burdening him. And then he spoke. He said, “I just don’t think the kids get it. I put all this time preparing, which I love to do, but I don’t know how much they actually walk away with.” I was so thankful to the Lord for allowing me to be in John chapter 4 this past week particularly verses 36-38, which reads; "Already the ones who reaps is receiving wages and gathering fruit for eternal life, so that sower and reaper may rejoice together. For here the saying holds true, 'One sows and another reaps.' I sent you to reap for which you did not labor. Others have labored, and you have entered into their labor."

This was the passage the Lord brought to my attention for this brother who was burdened by the lack of visible fruit in the children’s lives. I reminded him that perhaps he had been called to sow and someone else was going to reap his labor later on down the road. This was exactly what happened with the disciples as Jesus promised. The disciples would enter into the labor of those who had gone before them. In Acts chapter 2 after Peter’s powerful sermon, 3000 souls were added to the Kingdom of God. In Acts chapter 4 another 2,000 souls were added to the Kingdom. This was the fulfillment of what Christ told them they had entered into. This is no different for us today. Some will be called to reap a harvest of souls and others will be called to faithfully sow the seeds of the word of God with no visible fruit. In a ministry to children, the primary calling on the teacher’s life is to sow the seeds of God’s word into their hearts. This is also a primary principle in parenting. Much of what teaching children and parenting is all about is sowing the seed of God’s word into the lives of children.

It’s tempting to become discontent or discouraged when you continually labor to sow seeds of God’s word and see no visible fruit. Those who are called to a labor of sowing must keep in mind the words of the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 15:58, "Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain." You see, in the end, both reaper and sower will rejoice together. The whole purpose of having sowers and reapers is so that their will be much rejoicing when we join together in giving the Lord praise for His incredible work of saving sinners from His wrath for all eternity.

Let these words encourage your weary soul to press on to joyful and faithful ministry. Let these words encourage you to faithfully proclaim the Gospel to those you come in contact with.

"Do Hard Things"

2008-06-16T22:55:00.000-07:00

I’m reading a book entitled Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris (younger brothers of Joshua Harris – Senior Pastor of Covenant Life Church and author of books such as Not Even a Hint; I Kissed Dating Goodbye etc…). This book is aimed primarily at the teen culture of today, but since I have been regularly meeting with teenagers and will be leading a team of teens this summer during one of our outreach events, I thought I should read something that may help me get in their world a little bit. As I started reading this book, I came to realize that parents should read this book well before their children become teenagers.

Let me give you a brief summary as to how this “do hard things movement” was started. During the summer of 2005 Alex and Brett Harris were unsure as to what to do with their summer. This was unusual for these young men because they were self motivated and had been taught to make good use of their time. In fact for years they were involved in debating and they often spent their summers doing research on particular topics of interest. On this particular summer, they were at a loss. Their parents challenged them that they needed to move on, but they were unsure as to what this would look like for them. Finally, their dad came to them with this statement, “I’m putting you two on an intense reading program this summer.” As he made this statement he placed a large stack of books on their kitchen counter. This stack included books that ranged from various topics such as: history, philosophy, theology, sociology, science, business, journalism, and globalization. During this process of reading they came up with this idea to start a blog to start sharing their thoughts and ideas. This is when they came up with the idea of challenging teens to rebel against the low expectations our culture places on them; and so the term rebelution was birthed. This word is a made up word and is a combination of the word rebel and revolution. The summer of 2005 started a growing movement of young people choosing to “do hard things” for the glory of God. Now Alex and Brett Harris take this message to do hard things to parent-teen conferences all across the nation.

This book captured my attention because I realized that the only reason why these young men are the way they are is because their father and mother didn’t buy into the lie of the so called “teenage” years. The parents of Alex and Brett Harris taught them that they would transition from boyhood to adulthood without the “teen” years. They didn’t buy into the lie that somehow the age of adolescence means a vacation from responsibility.

I was challenged by this book because I think this idea of doing hard things shouldn’t start during the “teen” years, but should start when our children are young. We expect so little of our children. We make excuses for their disobedience with the words like, “O, they must be tired.” Since when does being tired give anyone a license to be disobedient. Or when we ask our child to say hello to someone and they turn away. We make excuses for this child’s behavior by saying, “O is Johnny shy today…” NO Johnny is not shy he’s just plain rude, and he needs to be taught that rudeness is unkind. Since when is it ever appropriate for us to turn away and ignore someone who is trying to say hello to us? The easy thing to do is to excuse the child’s behavior, the hard thing to do is to make it a sinful heart issue and then have to discipline for it. Here’s another example; two of your children are fighting for the same toy. The easy thing to do in this situation is to give the toy to the one who was able to attain the toy first, but the hard thing to do is to evaluate the hearts of both children and ask why child number one is unwilling to give up his toy and evaluate why child number 2 wants to possess the toy so desperately. It’s a hard thing to think through these issues and then evaluate because after thinking through this particular scenario thoroughly the parent will have to conclude that both child is clearly displaying sinful actions that needs to be disciplined.

After being challenged by this book, we as a family have decided that we are going to do hard things this summer. Oh, we’ll have plenty of fun, but we are going to incorporate hard things with the fun. For example, one hard thing our children were challenged by already this summer is riding their bikes up the hill to grandma and grandpa’s house. They live on Browns Mountain so it is quite a ride up hill for these short legs. Last week was their first attempt, and they all succeeded with a little bit of encouragement. We went a second time this week, and they admitted it was a lot easier the second time compared to the first. Another hard thing I am asking the kids to do is to make friends with the kids in our new neighborhood. One of the things they have not been able to do in our previous neighborhood was make friends with neighborhood kids because there weren't any. Another hard thing the kids decided to do was start an early morning exercise program. They decided that they were going to follow mom and dad’s example and exercise every morning after they do their quiet times. They started jogging one mile a day. Cade wanted to step outside his comfort zone by requesting to take golf lessons. This summer Cade will take golf lessons for the first time. It’s a new sport for him, so it is a hard thing. He and I will also attempt to play 9 holes on a par 3 course after his one week lesson. This will be a hard thing for me; to try and coach him. Kailyn and Claire are going to be involved in competitive swimming this summer. All the kids will be required to read several classic books during the summer (LaNae is still working on their reading list). I have plans to read a book that is not theological or spiritual in nature called Escape from the Deep. It’s a WWII submarine story. This will be a different type of reading for me since I finished seminary. It will be hard, but I am looking forward to it. LaNae and I have started the hard road of adoption. We don’t know what to expect, completely, but we have prayed and sought the Lord regarding the next hard thing we were to do after we were done with seminary life, and the Lord keeps directing our hearts towards adoption. We registered, by faith, with an international adoption agency by paying the $200 registration fee this week. The average cost for an adoption from the Philippines is $20,000. Read LaNae’s blog for periodic updates on this topic.

Parents, let’s not waste our families life. Let’s challenge one another to begin a pattern of modeling the act of doing hard things for the glory of God before our children.

Redeeming Family Vacations - Addendum

2008-06-06T15:50:00.000-07:00

Recently I posted about my plan on how to redeem our recent family vacation through Utah's national parks. I came across this post from C.J. Mahaney's Blog that is probably more helpful than mine. Men, I highly encourage you to check it out before you even begin packing your bags for vacation. I think it will help set the tone for your family. Enjoy

Family Prayer Time

2008-06-05T20:17:00.000-07:00

I love blogging about various things we do during our family devotions, because I want to be helpful to those who may be having a hard time trying to figure out what to do with your children. Because of our study through 1 Thessalonians the topic of prayer has been fresh in my mind. Do you ever have a hard time trying to figure out what you should pray for as a family? Well, here's a suggestion. I got the idea from the prayer calendar I put together for myself.

Each night after our family devotions, we devote a time of prayer together. When we first started doing this all we would do was pray for each other, and I started to think, “surely, we could be praying for more than ourselves.” So I laid a schedule for our prayer times so that each night of the week our prayers have a different focus. On Mondays we generally pray for any pressing needs related to our family, on Tuesdays we pray for our missionaries, on Thursdays we pray for our friends and/or for those who need Christ, and on Saturdays we pray for all the teachers in Sunday School and for the preaching of God’s word.

Here’s a suggestion for how to keep your friends in your prayers. Do you ever wonder what you should with all those family pictures you receive during the Christmas season? Sometimes they get placed on your fridge and other times they get thrown into the garbage. We have all the pictures we receive during Christmas in a drawer, and every Thursday night is our night to pray for friends. So we take 10 pictures from the drawer and divided it among the five of us and each of us take turns praying for the families represented in the picture we are given. It’s a great way to remind ourselves of the many friends that God has brought into our lives over the years, and when we get together with these friends during the year or when we correspond with them in some way we are able encourage them by telling them that we are praying for them as a family.

The Heart of Paul

2008-06-02T00:12:00.000-07:00

Sunday nights is always a special time in the Sanchez family home. This is the one night of the week where we journal as a family what things we are thankful for. The topic of thankfulness has been brought out to the forefront of our minds in the past couple weeks because of our study through 1 Thessalonians. You can't walk away from this letter without realizing that Paul was a thankful person. In the opening chapter he tells the Thessalonian church that he (and his cohorts) gives thanks for the Thessalonian church in 3 ways. He says he gives thanks to God for them when he continually makes mention of them in his prayers. He says that the times he gives thanks for them is when he remembers their work produced by their faith, their labor produced by their love, and their perseverence produced by their hope in the gospel of Jesus Christ. Then he says that the reason he gives thanks for them is because he knows that they were chosen by God. And he knows they are chosen by God because they believed the gospel when it came to them and it changed their lives.

Last Friday we had the leaders of FBC's Family and Children's Ministry in our home for our final leadership dinner for the year. We had 11 couples in our home who serve as ministry leaders. As I was giving a short lesson on this passage on this particular night I looked througout that room and realized, these people emulate what Paul is describing in 1 Thessalonians 1:2-5. Every single one of our leaders have full time jobs and families to provide for and care for. Yet, they devote a large part of their week in leading Bible studies with the teachers in their department, caring for needs the teachers may have, and they make sure their department in Children's ministry is appropriately staffed so that Sunday mornings run smoothly.

Paul's words in 1 Thess 1:3-5 reminded me that I need to be constantly on the hunt to find things to be thankful for in my family and the people of FBC.

Puppet Show

2008-05-29T21:45:00.000-07:00

Tonight during our family time Kailyn and Cade put together a puppet show for Claire explaining the overall theme of the first 3 chapters of 1 Thessalonians. We have been studying it all week and this week we were finally back on a somewhat normal routine after being on vacation for 2 weeks and then moving into our new home 1 week after returning from our trip. They decided they would teach this lesson in puppet show fashion and they did a great job. Their puppets are made out of craft sticks and LaNae decorated them to represent different characters. We haven’t seen a puppet show in a long time. LaNae and I used to put together puppet shows together for Kailyn and Cade when they were younger, but lately we’ve slacked (I should say I have slacked). Sometimes I resort to what is easiest to put together, namely a straight lecture.

After Kailyn and Cade did their lesson, they asked if LaNae and I would put a puppet show together. We’ve been in the passage all week, so we pretty much know the key point of the passage. So we put one together “off the cuff.” It was fun, the kids always enjoy it, and they usually grasp the concepts we are trying to teach them when we do so in creative fashion. I guess, I know this, but sometimes I get lazy in the creativity department. It was a good reminder that I need to think through how I am going to present my Bible lesson during our family times on my way home from work.

Here’s a picture of the puppets we use as a teaching tool (check out the babe in the middle with the 80's big hair look). They are easy to make. You need craft sticks, felt, glue gun, pen, and some buttons. You can look at the picture and see how they come together. It looks kind of “cheesy”, but our kids don’t have much in the way of entertainment media so they are easily entertained. However, we’ve used these figures in a Sunday school class on several occasions with kids who have every form of entertainment possible from pre-school all they way to 2nd grade, and they are still drawn to them. It's nothing fancy, but my philosophy in family devotions (and teaching kids in general) is be creative. Whatever will keep them engaged in the lesson and as long as they hear and learn God's word, use it.

LaNae is taking orders.

Here's one way to teach doctrine to children

2008-05-21T11:49:00.000-07:00

What is doctrine? According to Wayne Grudem, “Doctrine is what the whole Bible teaches us today about some particular topic.” He goes on to discuss that doctrine is developed through a “process called systematic theology.” In Matthew 28:19-20 Jesus told his disciples to “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations . . . teaching them to observe all that I commanded you.” In the second part of the Great Commission, believers are called to teach the whole Bible to one another. The nature of systematic theology is an attempt then to summarize the teaching of Scripture in brief, understandable, and very carefully formulated statements, and from there doctrines are developed (i.e., doctrine of God, doctrine of Christ, man, sin, salvation, future etc…). These are doctrines that have been most significant and foundational throughout church history, these are doctrines that have practical implications in how we live, and yet these same doctrines are under attack today by those who call themselves evangelicals.

Unfortunately we live in a day where many who claim to be evangelicals deny the need for propositional truth. The post-modern culture has had a great impact on the church, so much so that even many churches who call themselves evangelical denies that there is such a thing as absolute truth.

Twelve years ago when I was first introduced to the topic of systematic theology, I was determined that when I had children, I would make every effort to be faithful in teaching them the key doctrines of the Christian faith. When my oldest daughter was about 18 months old she loved to go to bed at night listening to music. She would wake up the next day reciting some of the songs she learned. So from there I decided to make a tape for her that included all the key doctrines of our faith from the doctrine of God to the doctrine of end times. I would ask a question (i.e. How many gods are there?), provide the answer, read the verses that supported the doctrine and recite the verse in a song. As she listened to this tape over a period of time my wife and noticed that she was no longer repeating the nursery rhymes from her previous tapes, but she repeating the questions and verses from her doctrine tape. We did the same thing with our second child. And this morning I came back from my early morning run, and I listened through the vent of our upstairs room and sure enough my youngest daughter was listening to that same doctrine tape that I made 10 years ago. She listens to that tape for 30 minutes, but on this particular morning it was part of her morning devotions. Some might call this brain washing. But I call it catechizing my children.

This is the kind of foundation we need to lay for our children. While they are young we need to ensure that a solid doctrinal foundation is laid for them so that when they are out in the world that disregards absolute truth they will be able to stand up against every wind of doctrine that comes their way.

Vacation / Graduation Weekend

2008-05-20T22:02:00.000-07:00

Much has gone on since my last post. We returned from our family vacation on May 14th, and I have to say that by God’s grace it was the most enjoyable, relaxing, and spiritually refreshing vacation we have had in a long time. We started off enjoying the beauty of God’s creation in Southern Utah. What a joy to be able to remind my children that the only reason why we were able to truly enjoy the beauty of God’s creation is because we know the God who created all of it. And the only reason we know the God of creation is because He chose to reveal himself to us through His word and through His Son.
The picture with these men from Spokane reminded me why as a church we must be committed to training men for full time vocational ministry. Every single one of these men will be going to different parts of the country to proclaim the gospel of Jesus Christ to a world in desperate need of a Savior. And each of these men was trained for ministry here at FBC through what was then known as the “Men of God” program. The Lord has used each of them to shape me in my role as a pastor in one way or another.
It was also an encouraging time for my children to watch their daddy walk across the stage to receive his diploma. It was actually quite an emotional time for me as I walked across the stage, because of all my family sacrificed as I went through Seminary. Many thanks to LaNae who encouraged me to press on to study and write papers; many thanks to LaNae for reminding the kids that daddy needed to study; many thanks to LaNae for her sacrifice.

Jessica Hoch and Arianna Tobin coordinated a reception the Spokane graduates. Many thanks to them for putting this together. During the reception Juli McKitterick said, she almost cried when I walked across the stage because she remembered how hard it was for our family. I told her, I did cry as I walked across the stage. This walk across the stage confirmed that I was done with my career as an RN and am now a pastor. I am extremely grateful for the privilege of being a pastor.

Redeeming Family Vacations

2008-05-05T20:32:00.000-07:00

We started our family vacation on Thursday, May 1st. It actually has several things attached to it. One of which is a field trip for our homeschooled children. The first stop was Butte, Montana and the final stop will be The Master’s Seminary where I will walk in the graduation ceremony. You can visit LaNae’s blog to get each day’s details of our trip.

One of the hardest things for me during vacations is the disruption of our family routine. For many people the disruption of routine for a season is actually a good thing. But for some reason I actually thrive on routine. I love getting up the same time every morning and sitting in the usual spot of our living room to spend my quiet time with the Lord. I love going for a run after I finish my quiet time. I love walking into the house after a run to say good morning to my wife and kids. I love going to work by 8:00 am. I love coming home by 5:00 pm (or 5:30). I love doing family time after dinner. I love talking with LaNae after the kids go to bed by 8:00 pm. Because these things and a host of other things get turned upside down during vacations, I feel like my life goes from order to disorder.

I resolved that this vacation was going to be different. I knew that there would have to be things I would have to give up. Perhaps a run in the morning would be placed on the bottom of the priority list.

It’s taken me over 17 years of marriage to finally resolve to enjoy whole heartedly our family vacations. Here are some ways I plan to redeem this family vacation to make it more purposeful and enjoyable.

1. Stick to LaNae’s detailed plan (LaNae did an incredible job planning this trip, every activity was carefully chosen and planned out)
2. Don’t set the alarm for the morning.
3. Get up at the earliest by 7:00 am (unless everyone is awake earlier)
4. Do a family devotional time each morning in place of individual devotional times. (The plan is to finish reading through Romans and then start in 1 Thessalonians ~ this is what the kids would have been studying in Sunday School and we would have been studying in our adult small groups).
5. Listen to at least three 2008 Together for the Gospel sermons with my wife.
6. Read missionary biographies to the kids prior to them going to bed at night.
7. Eat a light breakfast and lunch when our day is going to consist of more than 4 to 6 hours of driving (this will help me feel less like a sloth).
8. Eat a light dinner each night.
9. Take the kids swimming to each hotel that has a swimming pool (they enjoy swimming, this is a good time to read a book)
10. If there is a fitness room in the hotel, exercise with LaNae and use that time to talk.
11. Absolutely, NO studying. Just some light reading (I will finish Culture Shift by Al Mohler and will probably start A Long Line of Godly Men by Steve Lawson.
12. Have a list of questions I want to ask LaNae during our long drives to engage in meaningful and light conversation (I downloaded some good conversation starters from Reb Bradley’s website, http://www.familyministries.com/)

Today is May 5th and LaNae actually said during our hike in the Capitol Reef National Park, “you seem really relaxed.” God is so gracious to allow me to learn to enjoy being refreshed.

Musings on Parenting

2008-04-24T12:51:00.001-07:00

This list is not exhaustive by any means. These are few things I have gleaned from many well seasoned parents over the years, and some I learned by mistakes I made. Hope you find it helpful.

1) Consistency is the key: Between the ages of 18 months to 5 years old the rod will be most your effective and most frequently used tool in parenting.
2) Teach your children early to joyfully submit to your authority. This will alleviate some headaches in the future.
3) Teach your children to be thankful for discipline. Amy Carmichael taught me this.
4) Remember consistent discipline will be the tool that will help you peer into the window of your child’s heart. See my “Parenting Philosophy” http://fbcfamilyforum.blogspot.com/2008/03/what-is-your-parenting-philosophy.html
5) Be an affectionate family. Give each other hugs often and shower one another with three simple words, “I love you”.
6) Teach your children to affectionately love one another not just to tolerate one another.
7) Limit the extra-curricular activities (sports, ballet, drama, chess club…) of your children if it is going to consistently interfere with evening time family devotions.
8) Teach your children to sit through family devotions early (I suggest by 18 months they should be able to sit on your lap as you read a book for 10-15 minutes). Work your way up to 30 minutes then an hour.
9) Miscellaneous practical reasons why you should teach your young children to sit for long periods:
a. DMV
b. Dr Visits
c. Driving long distances
d. Holiday travel
e. To include them in adult dinner time conversation
f. Safety reasons (ie “sit right here and watch daddy mow the lawn”)
g. Etc...
10) Use your Saturday nights to prepare your family for Sunday, especially when you will be celebrating communion on Sunday.
11) The end goal for your children is that they have a thriving love for Jesus and not the avoidance all things that are “bad”.
12) Schedule your family devotions into your evening routine. It won’t just happen.
13) Admit to your children when you have sinned against them, and ask for their forgiveness.
14) Work hard at being united in your parenting. Your children want to see you on the same page. Let them know often that when they disobey mom they disobey dad. When they are disrespectful to their mom they are disrespectful to their dad.
15) Make it a regular habit to ask for your children’s forgiveness when you sin against them. In other words, keep short accounts with them. Don’t allow your sin against them to go unconfessed for any length of time.
16) Involve them in your home projects, chores, etc… soon as they are able.
17) Allow them to be your “helper” when fixing things around the house.
18) Parenting skills are the tools you use to point your children to Jesus. They are not the end in and of themselves.
19) The goal of parenting is not moral children but rather children who love Jesus.

Roland's Musings on Marriage

2008-04-16T13:06:00.000-07:00

These are not exhaustive by any means, but they are things that I have documented in my head over the years, and thought I would begin a continual list of musings. This one is on marriage. I'll probably update this as more come to mind. Thought that my mistakes in the past may be of some help to some of you men.

1) Your wife’s home is her office, be sure you allow for enough funds in your budget for her decorate her home to her liking.
2) Call her during the middle of the day for no particular reason other than to tell her hello and that you’ve been thinking of her.
3) Let your children know that your wife is #1 and they are #2. They will be shocked to hear this at first, but they will realize that it is best that they are # 2 in relation to your wife.
4) Take over all parental duties when you get home from work. If the kids need attending to take care of it.
5) Tell your wife she has a nice haircut after she gets her hair cut. In fact find out when she’s going to get her hair cut and make sure you input in your PDA, day timer, or whatever you use to organize your day.
6) Give yourself and your wife enough time in the evening to talk about the day. This means teaching your children that after, for example, 8:00 pm everyone goes to their room to read or do some quiet activity. This will give you at least a couple of hours before bed to talk to your wife.
7) Involve her in your ministry as much as possible. In other words, if possible, serve together.
8) Screen all calls when you get home from the office, this will allow you to prioritize your phone calls.
9) Don’t answer the phone between the time you get home and the time your kids go to bed.
10) Don’t walk into the house after a day at work talking on the cell phone or the family will walk away dejected.
11) Your wife is your best ally in helping you pursue holiness and purity.
12) Ask her about her quiet times with the Lord, regularly.
13) Ask her how you can be of most help in encouraging her in her walk with the Lord.
14) Learn to cry in front of your wife. She needs to see your sensitive side periodically.
15) Make every effort to resolve conflict before going to bed.
16) If you get into a conflict in front of your children, resolve that conflict in front of them as well.
17) Find out ways you could encourage her to use her spiritual gifts. For example, if you believe her spiritual gift is hospitality, then initiate bringing people into your home for meals etc…

Practical Help on Prayer

2008-04-14T11:32:00.000-07:00

One of the hardest things about our prayer life sometimes is that we don’t know what to pray for. And the reason we don’t know what to pray for is because we don’t have a plan. Here’s something I picked up from one of my mentors about 10 years ago and I still use it today. Normally, my prayer time begins with a short reading from the Psalm or a short reading anywhere in the Scriptures so as to get my heart engaged. Before I read, I say a short prayer, for example, “God opening the eyes of my heart so that I could learn great things about you.” Some of my favorite Psalms to go to are Psalm 19, 33, 23, 42, 63, any of the enthronement psalms (ie 95, 96) and 103 just to name a few. Sometimes I’ll read any short section in Isaiah 40 to 48. This is a great section of Scripture that speaks of the greatness of God and sovereignty of God. Reading a short section before I begin my time in prayer allows my mind to wander towards things pertaining to God. After my reading I’ll take a short pause just to think about what I just read and then I’ll start giving praise to God for His character based on the short reading. After my time of praise (or Adoration) I turn to confession. After adoration is a good time to confess my sins to God, because it allows me to look at my sin in relation to the character of God. Then I turn towards thanksgiving. This usually involves thanking God for my salvation. It’s always a good time to remind myself of how thankful I am for God’s saving grace after I confess my sins. Next I read a short section related to God’s goodness in the gospel. I usually will pull something out of Isaiah 53, Romans ch 5-8, 1 Peter ch 1 (just to name a few). This time is spent thanking God for the many things I can recall related to the salvation he has granted. After my time of Thanksgiving, I will start the supplication. This is when I take the time to pray for family, friends, missionaries, the church, the lost, government, etc… Below is a template I use for each day of the week. This keeps me from missing anyone that I want to regularly pray for. Give it a try and see if it helps.

Click on the image below for a larger view of this prayer template

Living for the King

2008-04-09T05:04:00.000-07:00

This past Sunday I had the privilege of preaching from Matthew 6:25-34. One of the things I love about preaching is the amount of study that is poured into God’s Word, but with the study comes responsibility, namely the application of God’s Word. Our church (Faith Bible Church) is doing a four week series on stewardship both from the pulpit ministry and our small group ministry. It has been quite challenging both for my wife and I, and also for our children. We have had many conversations in our home regarding how we spend our money, how we use our resources, and what we spend our time in.

In Matthew 6:19-34, the entire section is built around Jesus’ exhortation in 6:33, …seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you. Jesus says it another way in verses 19-20, …lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven. The natural response of someone desiring to seek God’s Kingdom or lay up treasures in heaven is anxiety. Therefore, the words of Jesus in verses 25-34 serves as an encouragement to believers who want to follow the Lord in obedience to His commands. Don’t be anxious is his encouragement and He gives three reasons why there is no need for anxiety: 1) He will sustain our life, 2) He will supply us with what we need, 3) He will strengthen us for each day’s troubles. These three actions of God flow right out of the text, and it would have been an encouragement for the believers truly seeking God’s Kingdom to persevere in their faith despite what trials may come as a result of laying up treasures in heaven. The failure to trust in the 3 actions of God described in this text is a demonstration of a lack of faith. And as George Mueller said: The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith, and the beginning of true faith is the end of anxiety.

This was a powerful message for my heart. I was compelled as the leader in my home to lead my family in this area of our life. Men, let me offer some possible discussion questions you may want to have with your wife and family. These are questions we asked one another during the course of 2 1/2 weeks. You could pose these questions for a dinner time conversation. Or right before you go to bed you and your wife can sit down for a half hour to an hour and discuss the questions. For those of you who are single, the questions apply to you as well. Perhaps you may want to find a close friend who will hold you accountable in these things. The purpose of these questions is to stimulate your thinking about how you are using your wealth, time, and resources for the sake of God’s Kingdom.

1. In what way are we laying up treasures in heaven? (vague but you can build on it)

2. Where is the bulk of our money going towards? (Are we giving in proportion to our wealth? – is the real question)

3. Where is the bulk of our time being spent? (You should clock how much time you spend in front of your TV. How much of your time is spent scurrying from all the different activities your kids are involved you don’t have time to invest in kingdom work.)

4. In what way are we modeling to our children that money is our god?

5. What is the driving factor behind your career path? (Gain wealth, Prestige, Power)

6. Parents, the question you should be asking your children as they prepare for their future is... Have you thought about missions?? Have you thought about full time ministry?? And then if the Lord closes that door, great…

7. What are you doing with your time so that you are cultivating a heart of godliness?

8. For those of you who are retired…Have you considered short term missions or mid term missions?

Satisfied with Christ

2008-03-30T15:15:00.000-07:00

There is a growing population of men in the church today who take lightly the teachings of Jesus. In Matthew 5:28-30 Jesus, that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell.

There is a sense of lethality in the words of Jesus here. And frankly I don’t think men take these words seriously enough. The issue is the heart. I hear men who get excited about the fact that they have not looked at sexually explicit materials in “the last week” even though in their heart they wanted to so desperately. This was brought to my attention recently as I was reading an article from Christianity Today entitled Addicted to Sex. I was bothered by the article because it lacked a Christocentric (Christ Centered) approach in dealing with the issue of sexual sin. It had an anthropocentric (man centered) approach to overcoming sexual sin. Not one time in this article was it mentioned that the greatest remedy for any kind of sexual sin problem is to be satisfied with Christ above the sin. John Piper has stated on several occasions that, “Jesus Christ was the most satisfied man that ever walked the face of this earth, and he never had one sexual experience.” He was satisfied because His satisfaction was in His Father.

Men will never overcome their sin of seeking pleasure for their own satisfaction if they never get to the place where Christ is their greatest satisfaction. At the core of every sin, whether it is sexual immorality, anger, impatience, anxiousness, etc… is the insatiable desire to satisfy one’s self. But because I’m writing about sexual sin, that is going to be my emphasis.

Being satisfied with Christ was the missing element in the Christianity Today article. No doubt, some men have a more difficult time dealing with certain sins than other men. Just as some people are more prone to worry than others because of their disposition. However, the solution for any sin remains the same for the believer in Jesus Christ. Put the sinful tendency off and put on Christ (Eph. 4:22; Col. 3). Think less of that sinful pleasure and think more about Christ. David said in Psalm 119:11, Thy word have I hid in my heart that I might not sin against you… Jesus said in John 17:17, sanctify them in the truth, Your word is the Truth. This means putting off the sin that entangles us and meditating on Scripture. Here’s the problem. We want quick results. We think that just because we start meditating on a passage all the desire for lust will be gone that week. There are no quick fixes. We must constantly be on guard. We can remove all the possible sexually explicit materials that we may come in contact with (which I believe is a good thing). We can install “safe eyes.” We can put in all kinds of filters on our computer. We can get rid of cable TV. We can get rid of the TV all together, but the issue still falls back on the heart. You must be relentless in putting the Scripture into your mind (Col. 3:16). You must get up early and plead with the Lord for a heart that is pure. You must go to bed praying that God would give you the grace to rise up the next day to live a life that is consistent with his calling of you (Ephesians 4:1). You must fix your eyes on Jesus. The author of Hebrews writes this to, …lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. You have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood in your striving against sin… (Heb. 12:1-4). This is a call for each man to keep his gaze on the finished work of Christ on the cross. The battle over sexual sin (or any sin for that matter) is won by constantly reminding ourselves of God’s redemptive work in His son. If you remove the redemptive work of God in the cross of Jesus Christ in your battle against sin, then your religion is no different than any other religion that trumpets the work of man as its highest aim; that is a form of self righteousness. And Jesus warned those who desire to enter the kingdom of heaven to rise above self righteousness (cf. Matt 5:20). The righteousness God demands is a righteousness that meets His standards. That is why He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf so that we might become the righteousness of God in him (2 Cor. 5:21).

Therefore, set up your hedges against the temptation to sin. Have other’s hold you accountable. But do not remove your eyes from the one who for the joy set before him endured the cross, finished the race perfectly, and after making purification of sins sat down at the right hand of Majesty on high (cf Heb 1:4).

Book Recommendation

2008-03-23T06:13:00.000-07:00

Every year (for the past few years) during this time of the year we read a book called Journey to the Cross by Helen Haidle. Our kids enjoy bringing this book out every during the Easter season. The story of the cross is not watered down. The reality of God’s hatred towards sin is not glossed over. Here’s an excerpt from the back of the book:

Finally…a book that features all the events of the last week of Jesus’ life and resurrection in chronological order. Well-known children’s author Helen Haidle brings together a day-by-day recounting of the last week of Jesus’ life – his death, his resurrection, and all of the events following his resurrection, including his ascension and the pouring out of his Spirit at Pentecost. Journey to the cross helps six to twelve year olds understand who Jesus is and what he has done for them. Young readers will discover: 1) details of the culture and customs of the first century, 2) how Jesus fulfilled Old Testament prophecies of the Messiah, 3) All the events of Jesus’ passion and resurrection, and 4) What Jesus’ sacrifice means to them today.

Last night, after reading through the events that took place at the cross, the application question at the end of the chapter was, “Could Jesus have come down from the cross?” My youngest said, “yes” and my two oldest said “no”. The answer: yes and no. My youngest understands that since Jesus is God he can do anything and if that means coming down from the cross he could do it. In her mind if Jesus has the power to forgive sins, surely he has the power to come down from the cross. My two oldest children also understand that this was accomplished according to God’s sovereign plan. They also understood that Jesus had to suffer and die in order to satisfy God’s wrath. I am so thankful to God for good children’s books that do not water down the truth. I didn’t have to prepare a complicated lesson, it was packaged right here for me in this book.

At the end of our family devotional time we spent some time singing songs of praise and thanksgiving to God for his great gift of salvation.
You need to get this book.

The Ordination Process

2008-03-20T21:11:00.000-07:00

Many of you have been asking why I haven’t had any posts for quiet some time. During the last couple of weeks I have been intensely studying for my ordination council which took place on March 18th. It was actually an encouraging time for LaNae, the kids, and me. It wrapped up the process of my training which started about 4 ½ years ago. I had forgotten that the training to full time ministry started that long ago. For those of you who may not know, I started off here at FBC as a Children’s Ministry resident. That was part of what was back then known as “The Men of God” program. The term “Men of God” was taken from 1 and 2 Timothy where Timothy was referred to by Paul as a man of God in a technical sense; namely, as a minister of the gospel. During those two years of serving as a resident I was taking correspondent courses through The Master’s Seminary (TMS). By the time I was done with my training here I had completed roughly 21 semester credits (which translated meant about a semester and a half of classes). The two year training program here was one of two stages towards the final stage of the ordination process. The purpose of those two years was for the elders of FBC to objectively determine whether or not I was called to full time ministry. They evaluated my character and my ministry skills, and at the end of those two years they affirmed my calling to ministry, and were supportive of my decision to attend TMS for further theological studies. Now, the moment of truth was here. Everything I had learned over the past 4 ½ years was going to be tested. Dan Jarms, John Smith, and Mike Rosario were the men I selected to be on my ordination council.

Each of these men played a significant role in my journey to full time ministry. John Smith (in the center) was perhaps the most influential person in shaping as a “man of God.” I met with him for over a period of 2 ½ years every Friday morning to be discipled in the word of God, in prayer, in leading my wife, and in shepherding my children. His aim during these meetings was not to convince me that I should pursue full time ministry, but rather to instill in me what the Scriptures say is a godly man. Mike Rosario (to the right) was also an influential person in shaping my character. His excitement over the study of the word of God instilled in me an excitement to study it for myself. He and his wife are dear friends of ours. His wife, Jill, is a dear friend to LaNae and our families try to get together at least once a year. Dan Jarms (to the left) served as my staff pastor while I was going through my residency program here at FBC. His road to full time ministry was very similar to mine in that he had been in a secular career for about 10 years before sensing the Lord’s call to full time ministry. One of the things that I appreciate most about Dan is his humility and his aim to seek for a balance. His encouragement to me has always been to develop a tight theological grid, but not to get hung up on preferential issues. This has been helpful for me as I grow in my understanding of what it means to be a pastor. Each of these men has played a key role in my life, and I was so thankful that the Lord allowed for all three to be part of this council.

Dan Jarms started off his 45 minute segment firing questions related to the Bible. His first question was “what is the theme of the Bible?” He then followed this up with, “how does each book of the Bible fit within that theme?” This was perhaps my favorite question because in preparing for this question it helped me see the overall picture of the Bible. This took about 15 minutes to do as I walked through each section of the Bible all the way to the book of Revelation describing the kingdom theme. Bruce Waltke’s book Old Testament Theology was helpful in helping me see the overall picture of the Bible. Next he asked me what the themes for several OT and NT books along with their outlines. And then he asked me state my position on key problem passages. He ended his questions with this one, “what does it mean in 1 Timothy that women will be saved through child birth.” To which I replied, “I don’t know.” That one slipped my mind as I studied through problem passages.

After the first 45 minute segment was complete we took a 15 minute break. I checked to see if I was dry under the arm pit, and sure enough I put the right deodorant on. Then again I realized John Smith had not had his turn yet. The 15 minutes were up and then John started firing away on question regarding systematic theology. His section was divided up into three segments. In the first segment he gave a key doctrine and then my responsibility was to come up with as many Scripture references as possible. For example, he stated, “the sovereignty of God” and then I had to come up with as many Scripture references as possible dealing with the Sovereignty of God. In the second segment he read three or four different paragraphs from different books. My responsibility was to identify the error in the statement and then correct it with what Scripture teaches. His reason for doing this stems from Titus 1:9 where elders are to be able to refute those who contradict the truth. In the final segment he asked me to define in one or two sentences theological terms with a couple of key Scripture references. I have to admit after the systematic theology section I was exhausted. I wasn’t sure if I had the endurance to go on the last section – practical theology.

Mike Rosario finished the final segment of the ordination council with question regarding practical theology. I was glad this was the last section of the council because it was refreshing to try and put practical application to all that I was rattling off in the first two segments. Mike took some scenarios from his own personal experience as a pastor. What I realized during this time is that there is not always one set of answer to each situation. Situation I will be faced with as a pastor will have its unique features that will be require delicate handling each time. Mike has been through many challenges as a young pastor and I appreciate his humility in how he dealt with many of the situations he faced.

After the men were done grilling me, they went into the other room and had a conference. To my surprise they came back with smiles on their face. Each man commented on what took place that afternoon, and gave me a word of exhortation and encouragement to continue to develop a tighter theological grid. The tone of the whole afternoon was very affirming and encouraging. At times during the final exhortations I was moved to tears because of the kind words these men were saying. I was humbled by each of their graciousness and thankful to the Lord for allowing me to be mentored by each of them.

That evening LaNae, the kids, and I enjoyed a quiet evening at home. We celebrated by going out to ice cream. The kids are glad to have daddy back. It’s hard to imagine that the training process is over. It seemed like those 4 ½ years flew by. But even though it seemed like it flew by, it was probably the hardest days of our married life. It was filled with many trials and many tears. It was filled with many nights crying out to the Lord for more grace to endure. It was filled with statements like, “why does daddy always have to study.” But I think I can speak on behalf of the family that though it was hard, we trust that God will use what we’ve learned for the sake of His Kingdom.

"What is your parenting philosophy?"

2008-03-04T20:33:00.000-08:00

Recently, I was asked by someone whom I dearly respect as a parent for my philosophy in parenting. When asked, I thought, “now that’s a loaded question.” And on top of that I hadn’t really formalized my philosophy of parenting because much of it is still in progress. But I thought for a moment, and realized that every single parent has a philosophy of parenting whether it is formally written in document form or not.

I had 5 minutes to answer a relatively complicated question which I didn’t think was enough time, so I thought I’d give a somewhat well thought out answer on this blog. Here is my best attempt. My wife and I aim to shepherd the heart of our children with the Scriptures, so that they will grow to love Christ. That is the bottom line philosophy of our parenting. That is the goal which we shoot for as we seek to train up our children in the ways of the Lord. Much of this has been shaped by Ted Tripp’s book Shepherding a Child’s Heart and a plethora of others who have gone before us (see parenting resources in the right column). Shepherding a Child’s Heart was life changing in how we viewed parenting, and it continues to have impact in what we do. But that phrase, “shepherding a child’s heart” can be nebulous. In Tripp’s book he lays out the biblical principle; which is good. We need to be driven by biblical principles. But what does that look like when your child is 2 years old and what does it look like when they he/she is in Jr. high school, high school, college, etc…? To shepherd the heart of the child is ultimately where we want to arrive as parents. I think that’s how we need to look at it. Therefore, our methodology has to drive us to that end when it comes to parenting. If that’s the goal, there has to be steps along the way that gets us there. We can’t just have a goal in mind and expect to land there haphazardly. We need to develop a plan. If you believe in the end goal then what are the steps that will take you there? The problem with the heart of children is that deep down inside they are sinful (Psalm 51:5; cf Romans 3:23), and we know that apart from the saving work of the gospel their heart will always be sinful to the core. So that’s the first step. The Scriptures must be at the core of our parenting because the Scriptures (along with the Holy Spirit) is what will awaken their hearts from its deadness (James 1:18). Whether they completely understand it or not, the Scriptures must always be brought to bear in the lives of our children as we parent them.

The tension then is that we as parents are called to train our children and allow the work of the Holy Spirit to transform their lives with His word. However, we are not called upon to passively parent. We must actively parent them. We must actively instruct them (Deuteronomy 6:4ff; Psalm 78:1-8). The reason why we must be active is because this is how we get to their heart. So how do you get to the heart? You have to get a hold of the external behavior first. What I mean is that when they are two years old and you tell them to obey, and they don’t want to, you really can’t appeal to their heart just yet. They just need to obey because you tell them to do something (Eph 6:2). If you try to “shepherd the heart” at this stage you will get nowhere, and you will end up becoming more and more frustrated and discouraged with your child. Your goal in these early years (between 18 months to 5 years old) is to get them to submit to your authority. The veneer of external rebellion must first be put away, and this is a process that will consistently play a significant role in your parenting. This means that as long as your child does not submit to your authority you will never get to the heart. Once you peel away at the layer of submitting to you then you have a view into their heart. The advantage with starting off at a young age is that the external behaviors that need to be peeled away are relatively small. It usually has something to do with simply obeying mom and dad when told to do something the first time. It usually means not whining when told to do something (Phil 2:14). If you wait until your child is older before you set the standard of first time obedience you will get excited about “Johnny” taking out the garbage when asked the first time, but you will miss that he rolled his eyes at you when you asked him to do it. The “rolling eyes” or the “deep sighs” are actually a window into their heart. But if your attention is on the external, then you missed what’s going on in the heart. You missed that “Johnny” does not yet have a tender heart towards those in authority over him. You missed that “Johnny” does not respect his mom or dad.

I’m not saying that it will be easy. But I am saying that it will require consistency. We shepherd the heart of our children because we want them to ultimately submit to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and His word.

That in a nutshell, that is the bottom line philosophy of parenting my wife and I seek to live by. I hope that helps. It was a great question because it forced me to think about why we do what we do in our home.

"Never Too Young? Misleading Our Girls About Beauty"

2008-02-29T10:14:00.001-08:00

Read this article from Al Mohler's blog. He describes where our culture is headed towards with regards to what young girls are being taught concerning beauty.

http://www.albertmohler.com/blog_read.php?id=1106

Gospel Growth through Hospitality

2008-02-24T06:26:00.000-08:00

Two weeks ago we had the privilege of having one of our neighbors over for dinner. His name is Don. He is an 80 year old man whose wife passed away about 5 years ago. I remember when we first sought to build a relationship with this man and his wife. We had only one child at the time and we went to their house during the 2000 Christmas season to share some Christmas cookies in the hopes of building a relationship with them. He and his wife were so appreciative. And to top it off my 2 year old daughter at the time sang three Christmas carols that was piercing to the ear, but they loved it and it melted their heart. Since then we have continued to build a relationship with Don and have had the opportunity on different occasions to share the gospel with him. But he is a skeptical man. He reads his Bible as a literature book and with a critical eye. Since his wife passed away our family would have him over for dinner on a regular basis. And during the course of dinner our conversation would lead towards a discussion about the Scriptures. He would usually raise a question about the character of God, namely in how God is seen in the Old Testament. And I, in turn, would eventually take our discussion to the story of the gospel. At this moment is when he would get most critical and condescending. My children would listen to him (with eyes wide open) sentence by sentence mock the story of Christ. In their minds they were probably thinking, “How could this man say such things about something we hold on to so dearly?”

We have been gone for nearly 2 ½ years while I was attending The Master’s Seminary in Southern California, and had lost contact with Don. However, during the Snow Storm 2008, I had the privilege of rekindling our relationship with him as we were both shoveling our driveways. As we stood at his newly shoveled driveway, I asked him, how he was doing. And the first thing he said was, “I haven’t had a regular meal with meat and potatoes in a long time.” Sadly, my thoughts initially didn’t go towards asking Don to come over for dinner. I actually started thinking about how I didn’t want to have him sit at our dinner table because he would probably mock the story of the gospel. And then my heart was suddenly convicted, that’s exactly why we need to have him over for dinner. So I asked him if he would like to come over that week and he said yes. I told my family that I had invited Don for dinner, and we all took a deep sigh (even the kids). As we anticipated sitting with Don at the dinner table this actually drove us as a family to our knees to pray for him. That week, we prayed that our aim would be to show him the love of Christ through our hospitality. We didn’t want to get in some kind of debate over something we hashed through in the past. We simply wanted to give him the best meat and potatoes meal so that he would sense that we genuinely loved him with the love of Christ. LaNae and the kids made a great meal, and we actually had an enjoyable time with him. We found out that he is a Civil War buff. In fact, this sparked Cade’s interest because he is taking a class right now on the Civil War. He invited Cade and me to come over his house some time to look at his Civil War collection, which we plan to do some time. He made an attempt to bring the Bible into our conversation during the course of dinner in a rather skeptical way, but I had resolved to simply display the love of Christ to him through our actions. He heard the gospel before on many occasions, and we realized that it wasn’t going to be more information that would penetrate the heart of this man, but rather more actions.

The evening ended and we felt like not much had changed with regards to Don’s heart towards spiritual things, but we were ok with that. We know that in the Lord’s time He will work on Don’s heart. We will continue to pray for him and continue to have him over regularly for meals.

Teaching your children difficult doctrines

2008-02-22T07:43:00.000-08:00

This week we are studying Romans 9 in our small groups as well as in our Sunday school classrooms. I often find it hard to teach such a difficult doctrine as the doctrine of election to my children. When you mention to them that God chooses whom He wishes to choose into His family there is a bit of confusion that is seen in their eyes. And then when they follow up that confused look with, “Daddy, doesn’t God love everyone?” This was the conversation that took place last night during our family devotions. My reply to the follow up question was, “Yes, yes, God does love everyone!” But the follow up question wasn’t asked, “why doesn’t He choose everyone then?” But I realized why the follow up question wasn’t asked. Children are able to take what the Scriptures teach at face value. Often times we are the ones who limit them from diving into the depths of Scripture because we think that they will not get it or somehow we will confuse them even more. So last night I asked a question, “Is God merciful?” To which my children responded, “Yes.” Then I asked, “Is God sovereign over whom he chooses?” They replied, “Yes.” Then I asked, “Is God merciful when he chooses some and not others.” And they said, “Yes.” They believe it because it’s what Paul teaches in Romans 9 to 11. Why do we need to be afraid to teach difficult doctrines to our children? The response our children need to see and hear from us is summed up in the words of Paul in Romans 11:33-36. When Paul reflected on the wondrous work of God in saving sinners from His wrath, he replied, “O, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! ‘For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor? Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?’” That’s what our children need to see and hear. They need moms and dads who worship God for the infinite display of His worth in showing mercy to undeserved sinners like you and me.

Leaving a Spiritual Legacy for the Next Generation

2008-02-18T11:54:00.000-08:00

This past Sunday I had the privilege preaching on Sunday morning. Since coming on staff to FBC as the Family and Children’s pastor, I have taken the time to meditate on Psalm 78:1-8. This is the passage of Scripture that we wave around as the banner passage for Family and Children’s ministry and it is the passage that I constantly go back to when I want to be reminded about what I must leave behind for my own children. We are called to leave behind a spiritual legacy so that the next generation sets their hope and confidence in a God who saves. This passage reminded me that when I instruct my children whether it be formal Bible instruction, informal everyday instruction, and in corrective instruction, I need to constantly remind them of the gospel. The gospel is not only the hope for unbelievers, but it is the hope for believers as well. The gospel that saves is the gospel that sanctifies. This passage also reminded me of ways that I might be concealing the glorious deeds, the mighty works, and the wondrous works of God from my children. What are the glorious deeds, mighty works, and wondrous works of God? Again, it is the gospel. These three phrases describe the totality of God’s work in redeeming His people. It describes His salvation. We could say it is a description of the most infinite display of God’s glory, namely the cross. What are ways in which we might conceal the glory of the cross from our children? I came up with a several thoughts.

When we get more excited about peripheral things than the cross (i.e. sporting events, scrap booking, decoration, a big house, a nice car, etc…)

When they don’t see mom and dad regularly studying their Bibles and quiet times with the Lord.

When we fail to extend mercy when correcting them or administering discipline. (The gospel is all about mercy towards us. God demonstrated justice on His Son so that we would be recipients of mercy. Therefore, should not the recipient of mercy be the first to extend mercy.)

When we fail to recognize evidence of grace (or the fruit of the Spirit) in their lives. (This is a clear indication of God’s work of grace in their lives; therefore we must constantly affirm them of that grace when we recognize it.)

When we fill our weekly schedule with so much activity that we have no time to formally instruct our children in the word of God (aka – Family Devotions)

When gathering with the saints on Sunday morning is not the highlight of our week.

When we fail to serve together as a family.

I’m sure there are more, and as I meditate on this a little more, I trust that the Lord will bring things to mind that will challenge my heart.

Getting Ready for Sunday

2008-02-07T08:19:00.000-08:00

Sunday morning, “the Lord’s Day”, should be the highlight to every believer’s week. It should be the day that we all look forward to the most because it is the one day in the week that the church is gathered corporately to hear God’s word and to engage in fellowship with the saints. A.W. Tozer said,

The highest expression of the will of God in this age is the church which He purchased with His own blood.

Paul said in Ephesians 3:10, …through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. All of God’s heavenly hosts are watching how the church functions because in this organism they see and behold the wisdom of God continually unfolding right before their eyes. If the church is that significant to the angelic realm, should it then not be that much more significant for us who are a part of God’s church.

Our children’s view of Sunday morning is shaped by how we view the gathering of believers on Sunday. If our view of the Lord’s Day is something we simply tack on to the end of our weekend, then our children will grow up with the “I can take or leave it” attitude regarding the church. How we prepare them for Sunday morning worship (on Saturday night) affects their perspective on this meaningful gathering. My concern is that our Saturday’s are so full of activities that by the end of the day we are exhausted, that all we can think about is getting everyone to bed after a late Saturday night event. Therefore when Sunday morning comes we merely roll out of bed, wash the sleep from your eyes, make a mad dash to get everyone up, maybe grab a small bite to eat, get the car started, and perhaps get to church on time.

About 10 years ago, I heard someone make the following statement; Sunday morning worship begins Saturday night. Then it dawned on me, I have a responsibility to prepare my family for the Lord’s Day. This means that Saturday nights, on a regular basis, must be used to help my wife and children get their focus on what we will be learning on Sunday morning. This means I have responsibility to talk to my children about the Bible passage they will be studying in Bible School. This means finding out what the teaching pastor will covering in his sermon. This means taking the time to pray as a family for all the ministries of Sunday morning. This means praying for any unbelievers who might be attending the service. This means praying that our hearts would be ready to hear God’s word and then apply it. This means reflecting on the substitutionary atonement of Christ on the Sunday’s we are planning on celebrating the Lord’s Table. And this means going to bed at a reasonable time so that we are not fighting sleep as we’re being fed God’s word.

As parents we set the tone for how our children view the church. Let us not hinder them by having a low view of the gathering of believers on Sunday mornings.

Super Bowl Sunday

2008-01-30T22:55:00.000-08:00

This Sunday is Super Bowl Sunday. Super Bowl Sunday has become a holiday-like event we celebrate in our culture. In fact its popularity is so widespread that over the past 15 to 20 years it has become an international phenomenon. But the popularity of the event is not necessarily the game, but rather the commercial ads that are produced by the "creative" minds of our day. This Sunday many will be glued to their television to not only watch "the big game" but also be entertained by the commercials. MSNBC recently wrote an article that said this about the commercial ads for this coming Super Bowl:

When it comes to Super Bowl advertisements, sleaze sells. This Sunday will likely feature sexual innuendos, bodily functions, crotch injuries, erectile dysfunction talk and various combinations of the four.

I know that their will be many Christian husbands, fathers, single men, women, and children who will be watching the same commercial ads. The same homes who allow their children to watch only rated PG movies will be sitting side by side with their children watching a 30 second rated R sound bite disguised as a commercial ad. The same single man who says that he refuses to watch rated R movie is enjoying a 30 second NC-17 clip masquerading as a TV ad. How can we justify exposing our minds with sexual innuendos when Paul writes in 1 Thessalonians 4:4 that the will of God is that we abstain from sexual immorality? Have we become so desensitized to the immorality in our culture that we refuse to heed to the Apostle Paul’s exhortation to put to death…what is earthly…sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire… (Colossians 3:5). Paul also instructs us in Ephesians 5 to "Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking which are out of place..." Did not Solomon, in Proverbs 5 (the wisest man that ever lived, apart from Jesus) warn his son not to be lured by the seduction of the adulteress, but to only be intoxicated always with his wife’s love? There are reasons for such exhortations, namely, that God does not want our minds to be set on anything that dishonor him.My aim in raising this issue is not to put an end to all TV watching. My aim is not to place a guilt trip on those who enjoy watching Sports on television. My aim is to simply remind us what the Scripture calls believer's to be. We are called to a life of holiness. Not in a self-righteous sense. Paul makes it clear in Romans 6 our position in Christ serves as the fuel to a holy life. The grace of God poured out in the death of His son is the impetus for holy living. Or to put it another way, the gospel should compel us to live in a manner that pleases the Lord. Enjoy the game. Get together with friends, but don't forget who you are in Christ. Don't forget the gospel.

"Praying Scripture for Your Children"

2008-01-28T11:57:00.000-08:00

I read this article my wife wrote for the "Encourager" and thought that I would post it on this blog because it is critical both for mom and dad to be faithful in praying Scripture for their children. Enjoy!!!

Is your prayer life all that it could be? Or has your prayer life become a little stale…dry… routine? I know I’ve struggled off and on with my daily prayer life. That is why I have been so excited about a new book I’ve been reading. It’s entitled Praying Scripture for your Children by Jodie Berndt. It has challenged and encouraged me to be praying more specific, biblical, God-honoring prayers for my kids.
Of course, I pray regularly for my kids, mainly that they will follow the Lord and that they will marry godly spouses. And I pray for specific character issues as they arise...but often my prayers for them have lacked urgency or any kind of vision as to what God wants to do in and through them. It seems that my morning prayers often turn out to be little more than a sleepy "…And God bless Kailyn, Cade, Claire, and Kyle...” Wait a minute, I say, as I rouse myself, there's no one in this family named Kyle..." This book is divided into 5 parts, each focusing on one area to pray for in your children's lives: their faith, character, safety, relationships and future. Within these 5 chapters are a number of sections that include many verses that can be used as prayers. For example, in the chapter about your child's faith, the author has a section on "praying for your child to promote God's kingdom." One verse she has listed is Romans 1:16. She has turned this verse into a prayer this way: "Lord, let _________ never be ashamed of the gospel, but let her recognize that it is the power of God for salvation for everyone who believes." Simple, yet profound. Actually, I was challenged to be praying for my husband, Roland, more specifically (and fervently) as well, especially as he begins his new pastoral role. So the other morning during my quiet time I sat down with my prayer journal and wrote out many verses, inserting his name when appropriate:

ll Timothy 4: 2-5 “Lord, help Roland to faithfully preach and teach the word and be prepared, both in season and out of season; let him correct, rebuke and encourage with great patience and careful instruction…

l Peter 4:10-11 “Lord, help Roland to use his gifts to serve others, faithfully administering your grace in its various form, so that in all things You will be praised and the body of Christ will be built up…

Colossians 3:23 “Lord, I pray that whatever Roland does that he will work at it with all his heart as working for the Lord, and not for man.”

We, as wives and mothers, long for God’s blessing on our families. And by God”s grace, He has given us the great privilege of praying for our families as a means to accomplish this. Praying Scripture will help us to align our deepest desires for them with God’s will for them laid out in His word. When we pray Scripture we can be assured that we are praying the Lord’s will-praying prayers that the Lord delights in answering.

"Common Sense" is not so "Common"

2008-01-27T15:47:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wondered why “common sense” is called “common sense”? There is actually not one thing “common” about “common sense. Recently, I was instructing one of my children on the fine art of cutting a piece of meat with a knife. And it dawned on me. One would think that someone could take a steak knife and see how it is designed and then use it successfully. But as I proceeded to instruct my child on the skills of using this fine culinary tool, I realized this is something we will have to revisit over a period of weeks, months and perhaps a few more years. Therefore, I’ve come up with a list of things that we think are common sense but in actuality things that need to be taught with much patience and perseverance.

Washing your hands before a meal.

Not running out in the middle of a busy street.

How to hold a fork at the dinner table.

Turning your head to one side while holding a taco upright when eating it, so that the meat doesn’t spill onto their lap

Leaning forward slightly when spooning up a spoonful of soup to their mouth, so that the soup spills into their bowl and not onto their lap.

Not starting monopoly 5 minutes before it’s time to leave for an outing.

Not putting on snow gloves before zipping up the snow jacket.

Not putting on snow gloves before slipping on snow boots.

Going to the bathroom when your bladder feels full.

Blowing your nose onto a tissue paper when “stuff” is starting to seep out of your nose.

How to load the dishwasher.

Helping your 18 month sister sit up when she is submerged under water in the bath tub.

Turning the dead bolt lock in the opposite direction of the door jamb before attempting to open it.

Not running on concrete that is sheeted with ice.

Not placing an object into an outlet.

Pulling up your sleeves before reaching across the table.

My conclusion is that common sense is not so common. It actually has to be taught. These are few that come to mind feel free to add to the list as you come up with them.

Speaking the Gospel to our Children

2008-01-20T22:38:00.000-08:00

I am so thankful to be studying through Paul’s letter to the Romans in both our adult small group and in the children’s ministry Bible School. What a privilege it is to devote 12 lessons in our Sunday School curriculum to Paul’s letter to the Romans. This book is gospel centered. It explains the gospel of Jesus Christ from the moment God declares a believer righteous in Christ (justification), to the day by day, moment by moment transformation into the likeness of Christ (sanctification), to the final day of redemption when we receive our new glorified bodies that will no longer battle with walking in the flesh versus walking in the Spirit (glorification). That’s the gospel. And it is something we need to remind ourselves of each day as well as bring to the minds of our children each day. Early this week I was asked a “how to” question about disciplining children. I listened to the question and the various comments that came with the question and then I asked this person, “Do you speak the gospel to your children during the process of discipline?” To which this person asked, “How do you speak the gospel to your children during discipline?” So I proceeded to tell him that when my children were younger (2-5) here’s the process of discipline we went through. First we would ask our child, “What did you do wrong?” Second, we would ask, “What does the ______ (a Bible passage) say about what you did wrong?” At this age our children usually committed something along the lines of disobeying their parents, complaining and arguing, or not being kind to one another (all of which the Bible addresses: Ephesians 6:1-2; Philippians 2:14; and Ephesians 4:32, respectively). And O, how they had these passages memorized. Thirdly, we would ask them, “When you disobey who does the Bible say you are disobeying?” To which they responded, “God.” Fourth, after they acknowledge their disobedience to God, I would ask them, “What must daddy do because you disobeyed God?” They would then respond, “Spank me.” Fifth, I would ask, “If daddy doesn’t spank you then what is daddy doing?” They would then say, “Disobeying God.” Sixth, I would ask, “Do you want daddy to disobey God?” And thankfully (by God’s grace) they always answered “no.” Then I would tell them how many spankings they would get and after their spanking we would hug. I would tell them how much I love them, and then we would pray. As I look back on those early years of parenting there was one thing I realize now that I should have reiterated over and over during the discipline process. I should have reminded them that their disobedience to God shows that they need a Savior, for without the Savior, Jesus Christ, they will always want to disobey God. This truth is not only for salvation. It is a truth that we need to remind ourselves if we are going to grow in sanctification. Pointing our children to their need for a Savior isn’t just for the preschool age. It’s for all of life. They need to be pointed to the Savior during their school age years. They need to be directed to the Savior during their teenage years. They need to be pointed to the Savior during their college years. The mercy and grace of God is our hope (and the hope of our children) in this life and it will be our hope in the life to come in eternity. As John Newton wrote in that classic hymn, “Amazing Grace” – “When we’ve been there (in heaven) ten thousand years bright shining as the sun, we’ve no less days to sing God’s praise then when we’ve first begun.” We will forever give God praise for his mercy and grace; for the Lamb of God who was slain. And when we think of the gospel, our hearts should be overwhelmed with the mercy and grace God chose to pour out upon us when all we deserved was His holy wrath. That's what we need to speak to our children regardless of what stage they are in life.

Here’s the lyrics to a song we sang this morning in our Sunday School. It’s from the Awesome God CD that Sovereign Grace Ministries put out. It’s a great way to remind children (and adults) our daily need for a Savior.

No one is good

No one is holy before God

I need someone to cleanse me

No one is pure

No one is righteous in Your sight

I need someone to save me

But I’m so glad You died and rose again

For helpless sinners like me

(Chorus)

What a mighty mighty Savior You are

What a mighty mighty Savior You are

You can wash away my sin

You can change my heart within

What a might, mighty Savior You are

Sin is too strong

For me to conquer on my own

I need someone to help me

I am too weak

I cannot change my evil heart

I need someone to save me

But I’m so glad You died and rose again

For helpless sinners like me.

"I put your bears to bed"

2008-01-15T22:43:00.000-08:00

My son (Cade) went to a basket ball game with his grandpa this evening. He left right before dinner time and didn’t get back home until 10:00pm at night. We don’t make it a normal habit of allowing our 8 year old to stay out til 10pm but this evening was acceptable because he was with grandpa. He left for the game without saying goodbye to his younger sister, Claire. When we called her to come upstairs for dinner she realized that there was one person missing, her brother. Her countenance is usually jovial, but after realizing that her brother had left without saying good bye, her smile quickly turned to sadness. All throughout dinner and during our evening activities she couldn’t hold back the tears. She kept saying, “I miss Cade.” “Goodness,” I thought, “he’s only gonna be gone for a few hours.” But in her mind it was lifetime. She went to bed tonight in tears. Cade came home at 10pm, after a while I went to his room to tuck him in. He pulled out a note that was on his bed and said, “Daddy look, it’s a note from Claire.” It said, “Dear Cade, I miss you so much, I hope you had a great time at the basketball game. Love Claire.” However, the line that brought tears to my eyes was the P.S. It read, “P.S. I put your bears to bed for you.”

As I rehearsed this scene over and over in my mind, my heart rejoiced in God’s goodness. LaNae and I pray often that our children would not just tolerate one another but that they would grow to love have genuine affections for one another. Parents are often not pro-active in their children’s relationship with one another. They often excuse bickering, rivalries, or unkind words among brothers and sisters as normal behavior among siblings. They neglect to teach their children the joy of serving one another. They don’t teach their children to enjoy being around one another. Often time children enjoy being around their friends in school more than they do with their own brother and sister. As parents we must cultivate in our children’s heart that their best friends in life should be their own sibling. If they can’t genuinely love those whom they live with now, how can they begin to love others in the church or in our community? It has to start in the home.

Teach them diligently, Part III

2008-01-12T12:56:00.001-08:00

We are studying through Romans as a family during our family devotions and it has been rather challenging because of the style of writing. It’s harder to explain to children truths of the Bible when it is not in narrative form. As I read through Romans 1:18-32, I thought, “now how in the world am I going to communicate this truth to my children?” I started to isolate the main point of the passage and as I began to think about it, it hit me. Paul is talking about the wrath of God. Then he describes in every day life how the wrath of God has manifested itself in the consequences of man’s sin. As man continues on his sin the wrath of God is being revealed as man spirals downward towards the depraved condition of his heart. That was what I wanted to teach my children. Now if my children are like most children, they love stories. In fact every time we are in the car driving across town or on a long family trip, they ask at some point “Daddy, can you tell us a story?” How would I tell my children about God’s wrath in story form?

I developed this story about a little girl named Sarah and we charted the course of her life from the age of 3 all the way to her mid twenties. At the age of 3 Sarah started a pattern of deceiving here parents with one small lie after another. By the time she was 25 her whole life revolved around deceiving family and friends. The sad part about it was that Sarah’s heart was so hard she wasn’t even bothered by the fact that she left a wake of people in pain because of her consistent lying. The story went on for about 15 minutes. As the story unfolded I watched my children’s eyes get wider and wider and wider as they saw the ugliness of a hardened heart towards God. Then I told them that this is an example of God’s wrath being poured out on Sarah. God was allowing her to continue on her sin and experience all the consequences of her sin to show His hatred towards sin.

This story provided an opportunity to once again plead with my children to respond to the good news of the gospel. Christ experienced the full weight of God’s anger on the cross because he loved us. I reminded them that God does not want us to live a life that is hard and rebellious towards him. He wants us to live a life that is dependent on His grace alone. He wants us each day to be reminded of how much we deserve his anger and yet He doesn’t treat us as our sins deserve. He showers us with His grace, mercy, and compassion through the cross of Christ

Afterwards we took the time to give praise to God for his grace and mercy.

Teach them diligently, Part II

2008-01-07T22:52:00.000-08:00

A friend asked me this week how one might do family devotions with a 16 month old. My kids are now ages 10, 8, and 6 and so I had try to remember what we used to do when my children were that age. And all I could remember was that we did a lot of singing, we acted out the stories of the Bible and, we did use many hand motions. Overall, our aim was to make it fun and energetic. I remember one time we were studying the Triumphal Entry. I wanted to visually show my children how Jesus came into the city of Jerusalem and how he was initially received by the people. We went outside and gathered branches from a tree. Then we gathered all the coats inside the house we could find. Then we draped a sheet around one of the kids (who was supposed to be dressed as Jesus). Finally, I got down on my hands and knees (like a donkey) and we placed the one dressed like Jesus on my back and we came down the hallway while the other children (along with their mother) started waving the tree branches around and threw the coats in the hallway and started chanting, “hosanna, hosanna, blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord” and singing that “Doughnut Man” song, “He is the King”. It took a lot of energy to teach that one scene, but it is etched in their minds to this day. I used to worry whether they would get so caught up in the activity that they would forget the purpose of the story. And then I realized they’re just kids. These story times are merely building blocks to the day when I would finally be able to unpack the fuller meaning of Jesus’ Triumphal entry. I think often times parents (especially fathers) are hesitant about teaching their toddlers or preschoolers truths from Scripture because they realize they have to get down to their level in order to communicate the message to them, and that’s uncomfortable. And it is. It’s not natural to crawl on the ground like a donkey. But if crawling around on the ground like a donkey is laying a foundation for later discussions about the future reign of Christ and how they need to submit their lives to Christ’s rule, isn’t it a small price to pay.

Teach them diligently

2008-01-02T13:00:00.000-08:00

Family devotions can become a little tricky when you have children at different ages of maturity. In our situation our oldest (Kailyn) is 10 years old and our youngest (Claire) is 6 and we have one in the middle (Cade) at 8. My tendency is to speak to the level of the oldest child because it takes the least amount of creativity on my part. I thought that somehow our youngest would “get it” through the “trickle down” method, but that wasn’t the case. My wife one day informed me that Claire wasn’t “getting it.” She was sitting quietly during our family devotions and was content to sit, but she didn’t understand a single thing I was talking about. I was so focused on Kailyn and Cade, I forgot all about our little one. To remedy this problem I gave the older two an assignment. On Mondays I will read from the Bible the passage we are going to study, and I simply walk through the passage explaining the meaning of the text and the implications for our lives. After the Monday’s family devotions, Kailyn and Cade have the task of coming up with a lesson for Claire. I usually give them a specific theme to focus on and perhaps two key application points to “drive home”. On Tuesday they will begin planning on how they will present this to their little sister. My wife helps them with ideas. Sometimes they are encouraged to act out the scene; some times they are encouraged to use puppets to communicate the truth that they are trying to get across. Sometimes we help them to put the memory verse they want to use in song form. Sometimes we help them with hand motions that will aid in communicating the truth. Then usually on Wednesday night, they will lead our family devotions to instruct Claire in what we discussed on Monday. We’ve been having them do this for a couple of years now and they really seem to enjoy it. They are at the place where their creative juices are constantly flowing and they need less and less direction as the weeks and months go by. In fact Claire looks forward to it with much anticipation now. Initially she didn’t know how to accept the concept of her brother and sister teaching her about the Bible, but now she is eager to listen. This activity has actually been beneficial for the whole family. For the older kids it reinforces the things they are learning. It also helps me determine whether I’m communicating to them clearly because if they can’t explain it to their sister, then that means I wasn’t clear enough in my explanation. And Claire learns the truths of Scripture explained to her at her level.

I was reminded of this topic because Kailyn put a note in my lunch bag this morning reminding me that tonight she and Cade would be teaching the Bible lesson.

"It's Bath Time"

2007-12-25T20:03:00.000-08:00

The other day I was asked the question, “How do you cleanse your wife by the washing of water with the word?” The person asking wanted to know what this might look like practically in a marriage relationship. I felt somewhat prepared because I have given the concept (truth based on Ephesians 5) much thought in the recent past. It seems like a nebulous command that the Apostle Paul gives us. The context of the Ephesians 5:25-31 seems to be what Christ did for the church. Christ loved the church so much that he gave his life for her. By giving His life for the church, He presents the church to Himself holy and without blemish. The husbands love for his wife is a purifying kind of love. His love for her should cause him to do whatever it takes to lead her to purity both in her thoughts and in her actions. The primary means by which this is accomplished is through the word of God. Here’s where it gets tricky. What does it actually look like to apply Ephesians 5:26 in our marriage? I think this takes place in various forms. Whenever we apply what the Scriptures says we always need to understand the underlying biblical principle. The underlying principle behind “cleansing” one’s wife with the word is keeping her pure primarily by bringing her back to the Scriptures when her actions or thinking contradicts the teachings of Scripture. Here is where husbands must learn how to be a student of his wife. He needs to ask her how she would be best ministered to, particularly as it relates to being “cleansed” by the word. For some marriages, the husband and wife have a set time where they sit down in the evening and the husband instructs his wife in the Scriptures. For some wives this is perfectly fine, but other wives may feel like they are one of their husbands project if he were to approach her in this way. In some marriages, the husbands “washing” of his wife in the word is not so structured. Perhaps he may ask her periodically how her quiet times have been, listen to her, and then supplement her insights with insights of his own related to what she is learning. As I’ve sought to apply Ephesians 5:26 in my marriage, what works for us is the less structured approach. I try to ask my wife how her quiet times with the Lord have been about three times a week. This takes place usually when we go for a walk in the morning or in the evening after we’ve put the kids to bed. After I ask her, then she often proceeds to tell me about what book in the Bible she is reading, what passage specifically she’s been meditating on and how she’s applying it. Sometimes she comes across a passage she needs clarification on and here’s when I usually take the time to instruct or I tell her that I will look it up and get back to her. Another way that I apply Ephesians 5:26 is by writing her a note. For example, if she shares with me an a issue in which she is struggling with, I’ve learned that it’s not helpful for her if I pull out all the Bible passages that deal with her particular struggle and machine gun her with those passages. What works best in our relationship is when I write a note asking her to mediate on a particular passage that addresses her particular struggle and then remind her in that note that I’ll be praying for her throughout the day.

Hope that helps.

"Daddy, I like it when you dig."

2007-12-22T11:31:00.000-08:00

Last night we were doing our Advent calendar and we read from Matthew 2:9-11. I explained to my children that when the magi saw the king of the Jews they rejoiced with exceeding joy and then bowed down to worship the savior. This launched into a discussion on how God saving sinful people like us should be a cause for rejoicing. I showed them throughout Scripture how expressing great joy and being saved from the wrath of God are related. After our family time my youngest daughter (Claire, who just turned six) was sitting on my lap and looked up at me and said, “Daddy, I like it when you dig.” The statement took both her mother and I by surprise, so I asked a probing question, “What do you mean?” She proceeded to explain to us that she liked it when I explained the Bible to her in ways that she can understand. She went on to express that sometimes when she reads her Bible she doesn’t catch all the things that I talk about during our Bible times. This morning I went for a run, and for some reason I was rehearsing over and over in my thoughts her statement about “liking it when I dig”. I realized that our children really do want to know the deep things of God. They want to know more than what the stories of the Bible say. They want to know how the stories express the character of God. I also came to the conclusion that our children will only rise to the level we take them. If we feed them milk all their lives they would be malnourished. If we feed them only the milk of Scripture, they will become spiritually malnourished over a period of time. We are the limiting factor in the spiritual development of our children.

Teaching our Children to be Thankful

2007-12-21T00:55:00.000-08:00

One of the things we started incorporating into your family times in the past year is a thankfulness journal. We got the idea from friends at The Master's Seminary (Justin and Juli McKitterick). Each week (usually Sunday evenings) we take the time to review the week and begin to list off things that we are thankful for. We usually begin with things that are spiritual in nature (ie salvation, God's grace, the cross of Christ, the Scriptures, etc...) This teaches our children that the greatest realities we are most thankful for are the many spiritual blessings given to us by God (Ephesians 1:3). From here we begin to express thanksgiving as it relates to our relationship with one another, and then we take the time to share material things that we are thankful for. This activity has helped our children see that true thankfulness begins with having a right perspective on the character of God first. I would encourage you to make it a goal that you might commit to this each week during the course of the next year, and see what the Lord does in the process.

A Brief Personal History

2007-12-20T16:42:00.000-08:00

It seems ironic to me that God would call me to full time ministry, not to mention the Family and Children's Pastor of FBC. But in the mind of God their is no such thing as "irony" but rather sovereign control over who He chooses to use for His purposes. I was born in a non-Christian home and was not exposed to the Gospel of Jesus Christ until I was 17 years old. I was married at the age of 21, and had no clue what it meant to be a Christian husband and father. I knew that I was suppose to be the spiritual leader of our home, but had no idea what that looked like. Needless to say the first six years of my marriage was rather rocky. After 6 years of marriage, a man named John Smith (really his name is John Smith, I'm not trying to protect his anonymity - see www.cohbc.org) took the risk of taking me under his wings and began discipling a man who was more or less set in his ways , particularly in the area of being a husband. His purpose for meeting with me, along with several other men, was simple: "Develop godly leaders." And the rest, he believed, God would take care of. My world was rocked when he patiently showed me in the Scriptures what it meant to be a spiritual leader. I realized then that during the first 6 years of our marriage I had it all wrong. It was during that time I asked for my wife's forgiveness in failing to spiritually lead her and told her that I wanted to lead our home the way God intended. She was shocked at this idea, and it took some time before she realized that I had every intention to lead our family biblically. But by God's grace I won her trust. In the seventh year of our marriage, God blessed us with our first child. Little did I know that leading a wife is one thing, but leading a family, whoa!!! now that's a whole new ball game. I have three children now, and have been married for seventeen years. I've made many mistakes along the way. I've failed in many ways as a husband and a father as well, but God is gracious to show me my failures, repent from them, make the needed changes, and cast myself again and again at the foot of the cross.